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Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim it can benefits only the workers, not the employees. Do you agree?

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim it can benefits only the workers, not the employees. Do you agree? pQ92
Due to the advancement of technology changes the way people do their activity, including their job which it enables employees to work at their home some people believe that it only give benefit to workers. I personally disagree with that statement. Working at home either workers and workers have some advantages. First and foremost, they will have a good performance hence they work in comfortable place secondly, both of them can spend more time with their families during their break time which may help them to build healthy relationship with their family members. As a result, If people enjoy working at their It may increase their circumstance. Morever, the time and the travel cost which they spend when going to the office will reduced. Furthermore, from the company prespective, the expense w maintenance will be minimal. In addition, with the aivailability of internet connection company's meetings are possible in online though various appucation such as zoom, skype, and Google meets which easy to access. In fact, some people tend to think that working from home only give beneft to the workers, they should remember that It might help the companies to reduce their cost to maintenance their building and they do not have to worry hence employees and employeer still can be keep in touch with another on a regular basis. To sum up, technology improvement sorrounds us hot only give beneficial impact to workers but also the company which can help them to reduce their maintenance costs and increase their profits.
Due to the advancement of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do their activity, including their job which it enables employees to work at their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. I
personally
disagree with that statement.

Working at home either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
First
and foremost, they will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance
hence
they work in comfortable place
secondly
, both of them can spend more time with their families during their break time which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to build healthy relationship with their family members.
As a result
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy working at their It may increase their circumstance.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, the time and the travel cost which they spend when going to the office will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "reduce"
reduced
.
Furthermore
, from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespective
, the expense w maintenance will be minimal.
In addition
, with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aivailability
of internet connection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's meetings are possible in online though various
Possible spelling mistake found.
appucation
such as zoom, skype, and Google meets which easy to access. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give
Possible spelling mistake found.
beneft
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, they should remember that It might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their cost to maintenance their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
building and
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry
hence
employees and
Possible spelling mistake found.
employeer
still
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with another on a regular basis.

To sum up, technology improvement
Possible spelling mistake found.
sorrounds
us hot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give beneficial impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their maintenance costs and increase their profits.
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IELTS essay Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim it can benefits only the workers, not the employees. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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