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Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. 2weo
Nowadays, in this sophisticated era, more and more people prefer to work at home than at office which can give a lot of benefits for workers. But the other side it can give a drawback for employers. This essay will elaborate both views and represent my point of view. To begin with, one advantage of work from home is that the laborers can run many activities which there are no one of them will not to do. In this way, the staffs have much time to work and they can finish all of the projects office. For instance, I recently carry out my department task in my house all day long although there are a few hours which I used to do my daily routine with my family, however most of the time I used to do my office assignments. Furthermore, the workforce have much time to their family without bother their office works. Nevertheless, there are some drawbacks of homeworking which some managers do not agree if the activity is done by home, as the office works do not run effective and efficient so that give the negative impact for factory which can decrease the quality of the output of an industry where the laborers workplace and the employers cannot control the run of their staffs works. Personally, I think although work from home give a little cons, but it depends on how the managers method toward the workforce duty and the assessment to their employees. So It is the better ways if the workers given the opportunity to work from home.
Nowadays, in this sophisticated era, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home than at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for workers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the other side it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a drawback for employers. This essay will elaborate both views and represent my point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home is that the laborers can run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities which there are no one of them will not to do. In this way, the staffs have much time to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they can finish
Consider using "all the".
all of the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "projects'" or "project's"?
projects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
For instance
, I recently carry out my department task in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
all day long although there are a few hours which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do my daily routine with my family,
however
most of the time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
assignments.
Furthermore
, the workforce have much time to their family without bother their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
works.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of homeworking which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
managers do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
if the activity
is done
by home, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
works do not run effective and efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact for factory which can decrease the quality of the output of an industry where the laborers workplace and the employers cannot control the run of their staffs works.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depends on how the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "managers'" or "manager's"?
managers
method toward the workforce duty and the assessment to their employees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
It is the better ways if the workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.

IELTS essay Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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