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Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. others say that amount of time watching television influences their behaviour.( Discuss both views and give own opinion)

Watching TV has become increasingly a common hobby among most youngsters of this century. It is often argued that the content of programs children watches on television influence their conduct, whilst others vocalise that how much time spent on watching TV exert an effect on their attitude. This essay will discuss why spending too much time on watching TV brings about some detrimental effects on children and also children are more impacted by what are they watch on the entertainment platform. Nowadays, people think that behaviour changes will happen for kids with a significant amount of time they spend on television ads. Firstly, watching a certain period in a day, because of the curiosity of the advertisement. Also, they will be in that advert world only since they have been observing them for so many days. For instance, in a recent survey by the London Times magazine stated that almost 70 per cent of kids are influencing merely by watching the advertisements for a long hour. This instances can bolster the existing concept that always attracts toward advert and they try to imitate them with their way it brings to their attitude changes. on the other hand, most of the children try to behave as like as they had watched on television. A major cause of this is children have an instinct for learning from and imitating the patterns of those who they may observe. Furthermore, in various parts of the world the exposure to televised violent scenes in the films main trigger aggressive behaviour in children. For example, most of the American children buy and get up of Harry Potter who is a great character of Hollywood movies and then try to speak like him. With the introduction of watching TV that has many effects on children character. This essay discussed why children spend long hours watching TV but also only does the content of what children watch affect their behaviour. In my opinion, governing authorities should consider more strict regulations when it comes to television programme content and parents need to be more careful about how much time their children spend watching TV every day to avoid the negative implications that it can have on their kids' behaviour.
Watching TV has become
increasingly
a common hobby among most youngsters of this century. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the content of programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
influence their conduct, whilst others vocalise that how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on watching TV exert an effect on their attitude. This essay will discuss why spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching TV brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more impacted by what are they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on the entertainment platform.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
will happen for kids with a significant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
ads.
Firstly
, watching a certain period in a day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the curiosity of the advertisement.
Also
, they will be in that advert world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
since they have been observing them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days.
For instance
, in a recent survey by the London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
magazine stated that almost 70 per cent of kids are influencing
merely
by watching the advertisements for a long hour. This instances can bolster the existing concept that always attracts toward advert and they try to imitate them with their way it brings to their attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

on the other hand
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to behave as like as they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. A major cause of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have an instinct for learning from and imitating the patterns of those who they may observe.
Furthermore
, in various parts of the world the exposure to televised violent scenes in the films main trigger aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, most of the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up of Harry Potter who is a great character of Hollywood movies and then try to speak like him.

With the introduction of watching TV that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
character. This essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend long hours watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the content of what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviour
. In my opinion, governing authorities should consider more strict regulations when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programme content and parents need to be more careful about how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend watching TV every day to avoid the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications that it can have on their kids'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviour
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. others say that amount of time watching television influences their behaviour. ( Discuss both views and give own opinion)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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