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Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

Several doctors are of the opinion that nowadays individuals are not doing sufficient physical activities. I believe, there are numerous reasons for this phenomenon such as, easily available commute, prolonged desk jobs along with variety of online entertainment. The answer to this situation will be couple of Lifestyle changes like walking and periodic breaks during work and entertainment. After the advent of affordable transportation like metro trains, small cars and taxi hailing services, people have stopped walking to their destination. As a result, this has significantly decreased active living habits. One of the possibilities to address this challenge of sedentary living is through a simple lifestyle change like reducing the number of times we take transport for small errands. inculcating walking habit will not only reduce co-morbidities but also play an important role in addressing the issue of physical inactivity. In addition, time consuming desk jobs and easy entertainment options have further reduced activity among individuals. Firstly, business commitments made it difficult for people to be away from desk work. Subsequently, spending long time with meetings have become part of daily job routine. Above all, many individuals are dependent on online leisure activities, like Netflix and Prime videos. This makes people confined for long durations at one place resulting in further inactivity. To address this, one positive way can be to include lifestyle changes like getting up every 20 minutes during our meetings or entertainment sessions along with relaxing our limbs and moving within the work premises for a while, this way the level of physical activity will increase. To conclude, considering the opinion of various doctors that there is lack of physical activity in current times, I presume that it is because of availability of quick transport, work and entertainment within restricted space for long periods. This can be resolved by adopting few lifestyle changes to our daily routine.
Several doctors are of the opinion that nowadays individuals are not doing sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. I

believe, there are numerous reasons for this phenomenon such as,
easily
available commute, prolonged

desk jobs along with variety of online entertainment. The answer to this situation will be
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a couple of”?
couple of


Lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
like walking and periodic breaks during work and entertainment.

After the advent of affordable transportation like metro trains,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
cars and taxi hailing services,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
walking to their destination.
As a result
, this has
significantly
decreased active

living habits. One of the possibilities to address this challenge of sedentary living is through a simple

lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
like reducing the number of times we take transport for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
errands.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
inculcating


walking habit will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
co-morbidities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in addressing the issue

of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
inactivity.

In addition
,
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
time consuming
desk jobs and easy entertainment options have
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
activity

among individuals.
Firstly
, business commitments made it difficult for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be away from desk

work.
Subsequently
, spending long time with meetings have become part of daily job routine. Above

all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are dependent on online leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, like Netflix and Prime videos. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
confined for long durations at one place resulting in
further
inactivity. To address this, one

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way can be to include lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
like getting up every 20 minutes during our meetings or

entertainment sessions along with relaxing our limbs and moving within the work premises for a while,

this way the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
will increase.

To conclude
, considering the opinion of various doctors that there is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current


times, I presume that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of availability of quick transport, work and entertainment within

restricted space for long periods. This can
be resolved
by adopting few lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to our daily

routine.
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IELTS essay Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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