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The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Cooperation is a vital skill that helps a person to fit in the society. It is necessary to foster this skill in people in a young age. Some people advocate the idea that team sports can cultivate the cooperation for kid s. Personally, I agree with this and will address some reasons supporting my view below. Firstly, team sports usually require not only physical performance but the cooperation of team members. By cooperating each other, the team will more likely to achieve the goal or win the game. For example, volleyball, a sport which usually needs six players working as a team. If the six teammates do not communicate and cooperate with each other, they will probably not able to catch the ball and lose the game eventually. To speak my mind, I will say team sport is considered the best way to train a person about cooperation. Secondly, most of the children love sports and activities. Hence, they can learn better and more effectively on the importance of teamwork and cooperation through something they enjoy. Due to this reason, in Taiwan, many companies have designed some sport camps for children where professionals teach them how to do the exercise and to cooperate with other kids, which, I think, is a brilliant way for children to learn teamwork. In conclusion, although cooperation can be taught to kids in many ways, I believe that playing team sports is the best way for children to learn the skill and be prepared for the future society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cooperation
is a vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to fit in the society. It is necessary to foster this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a young age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can cultivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
for kid s.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and will address
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons supporting my view below.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
usually
require not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physical performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members. By cooperating each other, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
will more likely to achieve the goal or win the game.
For example
, volleyball, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which
usually
needs six players working as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. If the six teammates do not communicate and cooperate with each other, they will
probably
not able to catch the ball and lose the game
eventually
. To speak my mind, I will say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is considered
the best way to train a person about cooperation.

Secondly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and activities.
Hence
, they can learn better and more
effectively
on the importance of teamwork and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
through something they enjoy. Due to this reason, in Taiwan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have designed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
camps for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
where professionals teach them how to do the exercise and to cooperate with other kids, which, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, is a brilliant way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn teamwork.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
can
be taught
to kids in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, I believe that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
be prepared
for the future society.
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IELTS essay The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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