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More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good or bad thing?

It is undeniable that a large number of people spend their leisure time doing unproductive things like watching TV. The following paragraphs will discuss why this is happening and whether this is a positive or negative development. There are a wide number of reasons why individuals tend to see movies or serials in their free time. First and foremost, movies are easily accessible now. Unlike in the past, it is not necessary that we have to go to the theatre to watch a latest release. These days with internet or movie libraries we can borrow CDs and watch them immediately. Secondly, the worldwide media provides apps like Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc at a very cheaper price. They have all the latest movies and episodes available all the time. As a result, many people are addicted to this and end up spending time watching these on their TVs or smart phones. Watching TV is a passive way to spend time and it leads to less social interaction. More screen time has negative effects on both adults and children. As for children, they might have speech and language problems, attention deficits and so on whereas adults are so engrossed in the movies that they don’t spend enough time with family or have face to face communication with them. Moreover, most of the individuals do not have any hobbies like gardening, knitting and so on as they do not spend time for it and instead spend time watching TV. To conclude, I personally feel that spending a lot of time watching movies has an overall negative impact on people as it is an unproductive activity. Hence, screen time should be reduced and leisure time should be used for better purpose.
It is undeniable that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing unproductive things like watching TV. The following paragraphs will discuss why this is happening and whether this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

There are a wide number of reasons why individuals tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or serials in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are
easily
accessible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Unlike in the past, it is not necessary that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Use “the” with the superlative.
a
latest release. These days with internet or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
libraries we can borrow CDs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them immediately.
Secondly
, the worldwide media provides apps like Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cheaper price. They have all the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and episodes available all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are addicted
to this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching these on their TVs or
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phones
.

Watching TV is a passive way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
it leads to less social interaction. More screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on both adults and children. As for children, they might have speech and language problems, attention deficits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on whereas adults are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engrossed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family or have face to face communication with them.
Moreover
, most of the individuals do not have any hobbies like gardening, knitting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on as they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for it and
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV.

To conclude
, I
personally
feel that spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
has an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as it is an unproductive activity.
Hence
, screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for better purpose.
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IELTS essay More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good or bad thing?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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