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Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow any exercise routine. Why do you think it is happening? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow any exercise routine. Why do you think it is happening? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly? kjbYK
Majority of doctors recommend that old people should have to do exercise regularly to keep fit physically. But minority of people do not follow these instructions. I think there are number of causative factors for the ignorance of these guidelines. However certain measures can be taken to encourage the old generation. There are number of reasons for this phenomenon. One of them, is loneliness and isolation. People do not sit or spend time with old people due to this they live life in just a single room. This leads to stress, fatigue that do not encourage people to go for walk or do some hard work. In addition, when old people suffer from some physical injury like stroke in spinal cord or joint. They find it difficult to walk on legs or do some physical work. Because of this they ignore the importance of exercise. Lastly I can say that children also do not deal with their old parents in order to teach them or motivate them about exerciseI strongly suggest that effective steps be taken as soon as possible to address this problem. To begin, with solution I can suggest that government should lauch channels about fitness tips along with advertise ads and also publish this issue in newspaper. This would encourage people about the benefits of regular exercise. Secondly, the management of the area should also organize sports programmes for the old people that would effect both youth and older people seriously. Lastly I can say that children should also spend time with their parents and also do exercise sessions with themIn conclusion, I can say that exercise plays a key role in the physical fitness of every person. However help from other type of sources would be beneficial for the encouragement of this message.
Majority of doctors recommend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit
physically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not follow these instructions. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are number of causative factors for the ignorance of these guidelines.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
certain measures can
be taken
to encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation. There are number of reasons for this phenomenon. One of them, is loneliness and isolation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not sit or spend time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to this they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a single room. This leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, fatigue that do not encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go for walk or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
In addition
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical injury like stroke in spinal cord or joint. They find it difficult to walk on legs or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical work.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Lastly
I can say that children
also
do not deal with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
parents in order to teach them or motivate them about
Possible spelling mistake found.
exerciseI
strongly
suggest that effective steps
be taken
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible to address this problem. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, with solution I can suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
lauch
channels about fitness tips along with advertise ads and
also
publish this issue in newspaper. This would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the benefits of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Secondly
, the management of the area should
also
organize sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that would
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
both youth and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seriously
.
Lastly
I can say that children should
also
spend time with their parents and
also
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
sessions with
Possible spelling mistake found.
themIn
conclusion, I can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
plays a key role in the physical fitness of every person.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from other type of sources would be beneficial for the encouragement of this message.
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IELTS essay Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow any exercise routine. Why do you think it is happening? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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