Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many doctors are concerned about the high usenof computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games,? How could these problems be reduced?

Many doctors are concerned about the high usenof computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games, ? How could these problems be reduced? 8Vam
It has been considered by many health specialist that today both youngsters and children are more attracting towards computer's games. This essay intends to elaborate the main mental and physical issues from video games and suggest some remedial measures in subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are multifarious drawbacks of computer games for youth. Firstly, it is omniscient that due to advancement of technology children become more lethargic because they always setting on front of the screen. They prefer to sedentary lifestyle. As a result, teenagers and younger are suffering from many physical ailments especially obesity, eye straight week and so on. Secondly, during the video games youth don't like to play outdoor activities. Therefore, they always prefer to live alone. Consequently, children have deprived of rudimentary and moral skills owing to the fact they spend minority of time with family and peers. Moreover, they get less academic score which may lead to mental deceases such as depression, feeling isolate and many more. On the flip side, there are many solutions to this problem. First and foremost, school ought to compulsory sports competition among pupils with the assistance of this, students can alleviate their attention towards games. Furthermore, not only a ministry but also society should provide awareness compues among youth and they should tell the harmful effects of electronic products. Secondly, parents must be devoted significant time to their offspring and hear their feelings. They should teach moral and ethical values to their children. Last but not least, during these afford these problems can solve. To conclude, it can be analyzed from above discussion that nowadays, electronic gadgets put detrimental influence among children and young masses. Hence, doctors are extremely concerned because it will more inferior for next generation's health and relationships. It has been considered by many health specialist that today both youngsters and children are more attracting towards computer's games. This essay intends to elaborate the main mental and physical issues from video games and suggest some remedial measures in subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are multifarious drawbacks of computer games for youth. Firstly, it is omniscient that due to advancement of technology children become more lethargic because they always setting on front of the screen. They prefer to sedentary lifestyle. As a result, teenagers and younger are suffering from many physical ailments especially obesity, eye straight week and so on. Secondly, during the video games youth don't like to play outdoor activities. Therefore, they always prefer to live alone. Consequently, children have deprived of rudimentary and moral skills owing to the fact they spend minority of time with family and peers. Moreover, they get less academic score which may lead to mental deceases such as depression, feeling isolate and many more. On the flip side, there are many solutions to this problem. First and foremost, school ought to compulsory sports competition among pupils with the assistance of this, students can alleviate their attention towards games. Furthermore, not only a ministry but also society should provide awareness compues among youth and they should tell the harmful effects of electronic products. Secondly, parents must be devoted significant time to their offspring and hear their feelings. They should teach moral and ethical values to their children. Last but not least, during these afford these problems can solve. To conclude, it can be analyzed from above discussion that nowadays, electronic gadgets put detrimental influence among children and young masses. Hence, doctors are extremely concerned because it will more inferior for next generation's health and relationships.
It has
been considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
specialist that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
both youngsters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more attracting towards computer's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay intends to elaborate the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
issues from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedial measures in subsequent paragraphs.

To embark with, there are multifarious drawbacks of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
.
Firstly
, it is omniscient that due to advancement of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more lethargic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they're always setting", "they are always setting", or "they were always setting"?
they always setting
on front of the screen. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to sedentary lifestyle.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and younger are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
ailments
especially
obesity, eye straight week and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
don't like to play outdoor activities.
Therefore
, they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have deprived of rudimentary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
owing to the fact they spend minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family and peers.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less academic score which may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
deceases such as depression,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
isolate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
and foremost, school ought to compulsory sports competition among pupils with the assistance of this, students can alleviate their attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Furthermore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a ministry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
society should provide awareness
Possible spelling mistake found.
compues
among
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youth and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
products.
Secondly
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be devoted
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their offspring and hear their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
. They should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
and ethical values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, during these afford these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can solve.

To conclude
, it can
be analyzed
from above discussion that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets put detrimental influence among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and young masses.
Hence
, doctors are
extremely
concerned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will more inferior for
next
generation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and relationships. It has
been considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
specialist that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
both youngsters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more attracting towards computer's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay intends to elaborate the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
issues from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedial measures in subsequent paragraphs.

To embark with, there are multifarious drawbacks of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
.
Firstly
, it is omniscient that due to advancement of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more lethargic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they're always setting", "they are always setting", or "they were always setting"?
they always setting
on front of the screen. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to sedentary lifestyle.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and younger are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
ailments
especially
obesity, eye straight week and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
don't like to play outdoor activities.
Therefore
, they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have deprived of rudimentary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
owing to the fact they spend minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family and peers.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less academic score which may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
deceases such as depression,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feeling
isolate and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
and foremost, school ought to compulsory sports competition among pupils with the assistance of this, students can alleviate their attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Furthermore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a ministry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
society should provide awareness
Possible spelling mistake found.
compues
among
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youth and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
products.
Secondly
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be devoted
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their offspring and hear their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feelings
. They should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
and ethical values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, during these afford these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can solve.

To conclude
, it can
be analyzed
from above discussion that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets put detrimental influence among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and young masses.
Hence
, doctors are
extremely
concerned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will more inferior for
next
generation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and relationships.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many doctors are concerned about the high usenof computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games, ? How could these problems be reduced?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
586 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many doctors are concerned about the high usenof computer games by children and young people. What mental and physical problems may arise from excessive use of these games,? How could these problems be reduced?