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Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? 9xQn
Nowadays, tourism industry become more and more popular in developing counties because this is one of the easiest ways to earn money. Some say that it has some positive impact and I would definitely agree with that, however it is also clear, that there are some disadvantages of tourism. On the one hand, tourism is a fabulous opportunity for poor countries become more wealthy and more economic stable. The reason why tourism flourishes in those places is ease and quickness of earning money while only small amount of money is needed grow it. Countries such as Sri-Lanka, Maldives or Puerto-Rico could be a great example where over half of their budget goes from tourism. Moreover, this is the only branch of economy that they can earn money from. In fact, tourism developing can stimulate another industries helping country become wealthy much more quickly. On the other hand, todays worldwide problems like global warming, water pollution, deforestation are caused by many factors, but including tourism as well. Wild nature is suffering from tourism and because of that government should take some actions to stop it. In Iceland, for examples, beautiful landscapes were destroyed by tourist in the 5 years period. In Brazil, a huge number of trees are cut every single day to build new roads and because of that lot of unique species disappeared. To conclude, in my opinion tourism is a great opportunity for poor countries become much wealthy and that will make better life for citizens. However, government should control it and avert nature destructions and what is much more important create appropriate facilities for it.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more and more popular in developing counties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is one of the easiest ways to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact and I would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that,
however
it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of tourism.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a fabulous opportunity for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more wealthy and more economic stable. The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
flourishes in those places is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and quickness of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is needed
grow it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
such as Sri-Lanka, Maldives or Puerto-Rico could be a great example where over half of their budget goes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Moreover
, this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
branch of economy that they can earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
developing can stimulate another industries helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
wealthy much more
quickly
.

On the other hand
,
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todays
worldwide problems like global warming, water pollution, deforestation
are caused
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as well
. Wild nature is suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it. In Iceland, for examples,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by tourist in the 5 years period. In Brazil, a huge number of trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
every single day to build new roads and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that lot of unique species disappeared.

To conclude
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a great opportunity for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
much wealthy and that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better life for citizens.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control it and avert nature
Possible spelling mistake found.
destructions
and what is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
create appropriate facilities for it.
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IELTS essay Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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