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Many developed countries allow their citizens to carry a gun in public places. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many developed countries allow their citizens to carry a gun in public places. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? ebwPx
It is true that common citizens have a right to keep a gun with themselves publicly in many first world countries. However, I believe that this has had more adverse effects than positive ones. On the one hand, Guns are often supported as a mechanism of self-defense, especially useful for women, who are considered fragile and more prone to victimization. Having a weapon at hand instills a sense of security, a psychological benefit of significance. Secondly, armed civilians means lower crime rate as criminals are deterred by the possible fatal consequences of their acts. This further benefits the police as their responsibility to deal with offenders is reduced to a large extent. Finally, it is also believed to improve employability scenario through the increase in job opportunities in arm factories and gun shops. HO On the other hand, I believe that drawbacks here are stronger as guns are highly likely to be misused. Number of violent crimes like homicides and suicides increase when guns are easily available, and that police are forced to use weapons to combat armed criminals. To cite an example of gun misuse, every other year, USA is hit by the incidences of gun violence at schools usually carried out psychologically ill criminals to massacre indiscriminately. Apart from this, freely allowing guns could skew children perception toward society. If children observe adults carrying guns, this tends to picture world as a dangerous place where violence and aggression are the solutions to every problem. In conclusion, thoug permission to civilians to have guns may have some positive outcomes, I feel developed nations are more at harm than benefits owing to this.
It is true that common citizens have a right to
keep
a
gun
with themselves
publicly
in
many
first
world countries.
However
, I believe that this has had more adverse effects than
positive
ones.

On the one hand,
Guns
are
often
supported as a mechanism of self-defense,
especially
useful for women, who
are considered
fragile and more prone to victimization. Having a weapon at hand instills a sense of security, a psychological benefit of significance.
Secondly
, armed civilians means lower crime rate as criminals
are deterred
by the possible fatal consequences of their acts. This
further
benefits the police as their responsibility to deal with offenders is
reduced
to a large extent.
Finally
, it is
also
believed to
improve
employability scenario through the increase in job opportunities in arm factories and
gun
shops. HO

On the other hand
, I believe that drawbacks here are stronger as
guns
are
highly
likely to
be misused
. Number of violent crimes like homicides and suicides increase when
guns
are
easily
available, and that police
are forced
to
use
weapons to combat armed criminals. To cite an example of
gun
misuse, every other year, USA
is hit
by the incidences of
gun
violence at schools
usually
carried out
psychologically
ill criminals to massacre
indiscriminately
. Apart from this,
freely
allowing
guns
could skew children perception toward society. If children observe adults carrying
guns
, this tends to picture world as a
dangerous
place where violence and aggression are the solutions to every problem.

In conclusion
,
thoug
permission to civilians to have
guns
may have
some
positive
outcomes, I feel developed nations are more at harm than benefits owing to this.
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IELTS essay Many developed countries allow their citizens to carry a gun in public places. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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