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MANY CRIMINALS COMMIT CRIMES AS SOON AS THEY ARE RELEASED FROM THE PRISON. WHAT IS THE CAUSE? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTIONS.

MANY CRIMINALS COMMIT CRIMES AS SOON AS THEY ARE RELEASED FROM THE PRISON. WHAT IS THE CAUSE? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTIONS. 9aapn
A Number of offenders who are jailed and later when they are freed, they still carry out criminals activities. There are several causes and solutions for the same which are discussed in the ensuring paragraph. To begin with, there ample of reasons why these these offenders breaks law aging after getting released. The foremost is revenge, these criminals in order to get revenge from the person or organization who were the reason why they got jailed. This criminal might be angry on the defense side or the person who lodged a complaint against them and hence they got jailed. Secondly, it could be because as they have got jailed and when they get out and try to seek a normal life with a respectable job they might not get it because their impression in society has now degraded and none of companies are providing job, as a consequence they might start breaking laws again in order to earn their daily bread. Furthermore, there are some legitimate solutions to these problems. Firstly, jail authorities must ensure that the criminals when they are in jail must get educate and should know the right path to live life when they get released and the officials must keep an eye for some short period of time on these criminals so further they do not do such activities. Additionally, the culprits who desire to get back to a normal life with a good job after getting free from jail, new laws must be introduced that a person should get a chance to get an job in the host country. To conclude, although these criminals commit crimes after getting released from the jail due to reasons like; revenge or not getting a job but government can make sure they are taught the lessons and are eligible to obtain a job.
A Number of offenders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are jailed
and later when they
are freed
, they
still
carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
activities. There are several causes and solutions for the same which
are discussed
in the ensuring paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there ample of reasons why
Possible typo: you repeated a word
these these
offenders breaks law aging after getting released. The foremost is revenge, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
revenge from the person or organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were the reason why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jailed. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
might be angry on the defense side or the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
lodged a complaint against them and
hence
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jailed.
Secondly
, it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
jailed and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out and try to seek a normal life with a respectable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their impression in society has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
degraded and none of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, as a consequence they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
breaking laws again in order to earn their daily bread.

Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
legitimate solutions to these problems.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
when they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educate and should know the right path to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
released and the officials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
short period of time on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
further
they do not do such activities.
Additionally
, the culprits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to a normal life with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after getting free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
, new laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be introduced
that a person should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the host country.

To conclude
, although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
commit crimes after getting released from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
due to reasons like; revenge or not getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they
are taught
the lessons and are eligible to obtain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay MANY CRIMINALS COMMIT CRIMES AS SOON AS THEY ARE RELEASED FROM THE PRISON. WHAT IS THE CAUSE? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTIONS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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