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Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. 5mlD
In the salad day of millennuium, the society is polarised into two groups almost equally regarding the notion that whether it is important to spend money on health and education services like hospital, schools etc or art. Different people have their distinct mindset the following paragraphs would shed light on both the approches before manking a final vote. To commence with the first notion, there are myraid things to be shared in it favour. First and foremost, health and education are things such as hospital and schools aredetermine the quality of our life that the most of us will have. For example, if the countries does not spend enough money on hospitals, our society may decline because people can't live without medicine. Secondly, health and education are also a good source to generate income for many countries. Consequently, this revnue helps to develop a country. Shifting towards the second school of thought, art can develop as hobbies and saved money can be directed towards urgent needs of the society. Hence, art is better way to earn money for any country. Morever, the art have also an essential part of life. Many people get pleasure to do what they want to do. Therefore, the countries assists such art institution so they can prove their ablility. Hammering the last nail, I personally feel that the countries should invest some part of their money. It's necessary for our society but health and education are part of life with these things life will become complicated and our society will become poor. That's why the countries should public service on first place.
In the salad day of
Possible spelling mistake found.
millennuium
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two groups almost
equally
regarding the notion that whether it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
services like hospital, schools etc or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their distinct mindset the following paragraphs would shed light on both the
Possible spelling mistake found.
approches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
manking
a final vote. To commence with the
first
notion, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
things to
be shared
in it
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are things such as hospital and schools
Possible spelling mistake found.
aredetermine
the quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that the most of us will have.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
does not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on hospitals, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
may decline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without medicine.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source to generate income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Consequently
, this
Possible spelling mistake found.
revnue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can develop as hobbies and saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be directed
towards urgent needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a better".
better
way to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
have
also
an essential part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pleasure to do what they want to do.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
assists such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
institution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can prove their
Possible spelling mistake found.
ablility
. Hammering the last nail, I
personally
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It's necessary for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "things'" or "thing's"?
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will become complicated and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will become poor. That's why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should public service on
first
place.
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IELTS essay Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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