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Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In order to have better defense systems, many nations impose compulsory laws which states that their younger citizens especially men must join military service after they finish schooling. And they believe it is a good method for all countries to follow and also possibly include women. I totally disagree with the statement, and no individual should be forced to do certain jobs. Firstly, every human being has a right to choose their passion as well as the job they want to do. No one, even the government authority should influence the youngsters about their work. this will greatly have many adverse impact not only on the individual person involved but also their dependents. To give a clear example, individuals who are forced to do a specific job will be psychologically affected by being depressed or stressed. So that, nobody should be pushed into any work which they do not wish. Secondly, when people do the work which they do not like it will greatly have a negative effects on the job they do. So this will benefit no one. Also working in a military needs dedication and sacrifice which will never be given by the individuals who are forced to work. In addition Involving women in such a dangerous work have no benefits for the country or the women. So they should never be forced to work in military. To conclude, even though defense system of a country should be strong and well populated compulsory addition of men or women is a reprehensible act.
In order to have better defense systems,
many
nations impose compulsory laws which states that their younger citizens
especially
men
must
join
military service after they finish schooling. And they believe it is a
good
method for all countries to follow and
also
possibly
include
women
. I
totally
disagree with the statement, and no
individual
should be
forced
to do certain jobs.

Firstly
, every human being has a right to choose their passion
as well
as the job they want to do. No one, even the
government
authority should influence the youngsters about their
work
.
this
will
greatly
have
many adverse impact
not
only
on the
individual
person involved
but
also
their dependents. To give a
clear
example,
individuals
who are
forced
to do a specific job will be
psychologically
affected
by
being depressed
or
stressed
.
So
that, nobody should
be pushed
into any
work
which they do not wish.

Secondly
, when
people
do the
work
which they do not like it will
greatly
have a
negative
effects on the job they do.
So
this will benefit no one.
Also
working in a military needs dedication and sacrifice which will never be
given
by the
individuals
who are
forced
to
work
. In
addition
Involving
women
in such a
dangerous
work
have no benefits for the country or the
women
.
So
they should never be
forced
to
work
in military.

To conclude
,
even though
defense system of a country should be strong and well populated compulsory addition of
men
or
women
is a reprehensible act.
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IELTS essay Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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