Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea to adopt this system, for men and possibly women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea to adopt this system, for men and possibly women. with this statement? PlOp
In many nations, students, especially boys, must have the obligation to join the military after their graduation. Some say that this system should be adopted internationally for people in both genders. In my opinion, I would argue that such a service should not be enforced worldwide due to several problems. To begin with, there are reasons why governments desire young men to serve in the military. Along with the youth’s strength and stamina which usually meet the requirement of national troops, the military also gain huge benefits when recruiting these highly educated citizens. For example, young experts in computers could be of significant importance in technical positions to control the intelligent firing systems. Additionally, since young students take an incredible proportion of the population, it is understandable when governments put these individuals into the army to utilize such a human resource advantage. However, it is not advisable to establish this system internationally because this seems to be against some students’ will and could possibly harm one’s education growth. Firstly, not every student is willing to trade off their personal purposes to participate in the troops, forcing these people to serve could be considered going against the human rights. Therefore, this system will not work in some developed countries where residents value the freedom of choice such as The United States of America. Secondly, a large portion of people still want to pursue higher education without any interruption, they are unlikely to perform productively when being forced to join the army. As a result, the defensive line still could not grow impeccably despite having enough men. In conclusion, while compulsory military service does benefit in some parts of the world, I would disagree that all countries should adopt this system.
In
many
nations,
students
,
especially
boys,
must
have the obligation to
join
the military after their graduation.
Some
say that this
system
should
be adopted
internationally
for
people
in both genders. In my opinion, I would argue that such a service should not
be enforced
worldwide due to several problems.

To
begin
with, there are reasons why
governments
desire young
men
to serve in the military. Along with the youth’s strength and stamina which
usually
meet
the requirement of national troops, the military
also
gain huge benefits when recruiting these
highly
educated citizens.
For example
, young experts in computers could be of significant importance in technical positions to control the intelligent firing
systems
.
Additionally
, since young
students
take an incredible proportion of the population, it is understandable when
governments
put these individuals into the army to utilize such a human resource advantage.

However
, it is not advisable to establish this
system
internationally
because
this seems to be against
some
students’
will and could
possibly
harm one’s education growth.
Firstly
, not every
student
is willing to trade off their personal purposes to participate in the troops, forcing these
people
to serve could
be considered
going against the human rights.
Therefore
, this
system
will not work in
some
developed countries
where residents value the freedom of choice such as The United States of America.
Secondly
, a large portion of
people
still
want to pursue higher education without any interruption, they are unlikely to perform
productively
when
being forced
to
join
the army.
As a result
, the defensive line
still
could not grow
impeccably
despite having
enough
men
.

In conclusion
, while compulsory military service does benefit in
some
parts of the world, I would disagree that all countries should adopt this
system
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea to adopt this system, for men and possibly women. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts