Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many countries decide old people can work any age they want

Many countries decide old people can work any age they want KVG76
In this day and age, thanks to the development of health, education and social, the average life expectancy of people has increased much compared to previous years. Many countries tend to population aging and they decide to permit the elderly can work any age even after retirement age. this trend has some drawbacks but people can't deny that it brings more benefits in the future. First of all, there are several disadvantages to this problem. When people become older, their health also turns worse according to their health, arms and legs aren't brisk, the brain function is rigid and difficult in gain to new knowledge. Obviously, the productive work is decreased, both employer and employee feel pressured and heavy. moreover, old people have jobs like driver or pilot, those jobs if there are not concentration, good memory and quickly react. This Problem can be a cause for unfortunate accidents, which endamages much about people and possession, impacting on a whole community. It can be a reason there is a widely held view among people that the elderly work not good. On another hand, working after retirement also brings about several clear benefits. Reduction of the burden on both individual and government social security. Carefulness and maturity from many years of experience in life and work have helped the elderly employees not be confused when difficult problems arise. Besides, taking advantage of the older workforce, which is a good way to be labor-saving, avoiding waste of manpower for a country. Furthermore, after senior people stop working, they feel hurt self-respect when they become a burden of their progeny. They recognized that they seem to be perceived and treated as a kid as soon as they retire. A job can help them healthier in their mental. According to the research, sitting still and face four walls make age faster. Jobs is a means to interact with social and all age groups, especially the youth quake (sự thay đổi tích cực được tạo ra bởi giới trẻ)which makes the elder feel younger. Working after given up work makes the old more active that leads to improving their health and limit diseases in old age. To sum up, the government in countries should create conditions and opportunities for old people. Besides they had to limit age in several jobs.
In this day and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, thanks to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education and social, the average life expectancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has increased much compared to previous years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries tend to population
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
aging and
they decide to permit the elderly can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
even after retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can't deny that it brings more benefits in the future.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are several disadvantages to this problem. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become older, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
also
turns worse according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, arms and legs aren't brisk, the brain function is rigid and difficult in gain to new knowledge.
Obviously
, the productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is decreased
, both employer and employee feel pressured and heavy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like driver or pilot, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if there are not concentration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memory and
quickly
react. This Problem can be a cause for unfortunate accidents, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
endamages
much about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and possession, impacting on a whole community. It can be a reason there is a
widely
held view among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

On another hand, working after retirement
also
brings about several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits. Reduction of the burden on both individual and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
social security. Carefulness and maturity from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of experience in life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the elderly employees not
be confused
when difficult problems arise.
Besides
, taking advantage of the older workforce, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to be labor-saving, avoiding waste of manpower for a country.
Furthermore
, after senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working, they feel hurt self-respect when they become a burden of their progeny. They recognized that they seem to
be perceived
and treated as a kid as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they retire. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them healthier in their mental. According to the research, sitting
still
and face four walls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
faster.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
is a means to interact with social and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups,
especially
the youth quake (
Possible spelling mistake found.
sự
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
Possible spelling mistake found.
đổi
Possible spelling mistake found.
tích
Possible spelling mistake found.
cực
Possible spelling mistake found.
được
Possible spelling mistake found.
tạo
Possible spelling mistake found.
ra
Possible spelling mistake found.
bởi
Possible spelling mistake found.
giới
Possible spelling mistake found.
trẻ
)which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the elder feel younger. Working after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
more active that leads to improving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and limit diseases in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age.

To sum up, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in countries should create conditions and opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
they had to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many countries decide old people can work any age they want

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Friend, It benefit and much more! !
    Friend is a noun use to describe about relative with two people or more! Sometime friend is good but sometime it is not. First at all, friend is a relative that you need to have at least one in your life! You know why? Because it is important, friend can help you with your problem, can listen to you...
  • 5.5band
    the impacts of Covid-19 on our society
    The COVID-19 pandemic is an unprecedented phenomenon for all of us. It has been impacting our community in so many ways and changing people's lives to a large extent. However, it can be seen as a double thing as it not only has a negative impact but also has a positive impact on our society. This es...
  • 6band
    In this day and age, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding which subjects are considered important to students.
    In this day and age, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding which subjects are considered important to students. Some agree that History falls into that category, while some argue Science and Technology are more integral. However, I believe that all three subjects aforementioned are equally...
  • 5.5band
    Your very first experience of love. It's something wonderful, amazing and new, but first is not synonymous with forever
    I was just 16 years old when the first time I fell in love with a boy four or five years older than me. I had set my eyes on him the first time when he had come to the colony park and he was chatting with his friends. I found him so handsome, his curly, dark brown hair and large dark brown eyes! I w...
  • 5band
    Global warming leads to many serious repercussions, but there are two key effects.
    Global warming leads to many serious repercussions, but there are two key effects. The foremost is the melting of glaciers. As temperatures rise, icebergs will melt causing rise of sea levels, causing coastal erosion, so habitats are threatened like polar bears, pushing them to be in danger of extin...
  • 5band
    Family expenditure about my family
    I'm talking about my family expenditure. Firstly i could say that every year 2000 dollar spending just for school or college transport. Though it is huge amount but my family easily manage these. My father is the only person who are managing expenses for our family. Actually, every father manages th...