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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? 0AMJl
Having developed economy, many states intend to ameliorate individual’s life, while this trend threatens moral principle consequently. Marked effect on social health and culture evoke me to consider this issue as outstanding merit. Society derives multifarious benefit from gaining living standard fulfilled through economic growth. Firstly, people abundantly supplied are reluctant to commit serious crimes. In other word, society vehemently refuse to earn money through inappropriate ways, and proclivity toward aggression gradually reduce. Therefore, unremitting poverty and prostitution causing manifold contentious problems can be disappeared, and social health as a most significant factor of society take massive advantages. Secondly, under influence of this phenomenon, happiness and joviality are permeated into people’s mind. Should not individuals suffer financially, the mental health will not be menaced by negative thoughts. Hence, communities can get substantial benefit from this situation. Improvement in having better life style plays a prominent role in conserving culture. It means, people can dedicate their self to spread traditions among young generation handed down. Accordingly, young people are informed about their culture and ceremonies. Furthermore, negative culture can be eliminated from society. For instance, destructive habits such as greed, selfishness, self-doubt, and lie are erased from society’s beliefs. Thus, people afford to preserve their culture, and a friendly atmosphere awaits individual. In conclusion, having considerably increased in living standard, people can hugely profit from enormous effect on social health and culture, and many countries have a purpose to adopt the pragmatic approach and decision to this scope.
Having developed economy,
many
states intend to ameliorate individual’s life, while this trend threatens moral principle
consequently
. Marked effect on social
health
and
culture
evoke me to consider this issue as outstanding merit.

Society derives multifarious benefit from gaining living standard fulfilled through economic growth.
Firstly
,
people
abundantly
supplied are reluctant to commit serious crimes. In other word,
society
vehemently
refuse to earn money through inappropriate ways, and proclivity toward aggression
gradually
reduce
.
Therefore
, unremitting poverty and prostitution causing manifold contentious problems can
be disappeared
, and social
health
as a most significant factor of
society
take massive advantages.
Secondly
, under influence of this phenomenon, happiness and joviality
are permeated
into
people’s
mind. Should not individuals suffer
financially
, the mental
health
will not
be menaced
by
negative
thoughts.
Hence
, communities can
get
substantial benefit from this situation.

Improvement in having better life style plays a prominent role in conserving
culture
. It means,
people
can dedicate their self to spread traditions among young generation handed down.
Accordingly
, young
people
are informed
about their
culture
and ceremonies.
Furthermore
,
negative
culture
can
be eliminated
from
society
.
For instance
, destructive habits such as greed, selfishness, self-doubt, and lie
are erased
from
society’s
beliefs.
Thus
,
people
afford to preserve their
culture
, and a friendly atmosphere awaits individual.

In conclusion
, having
considerably
increased in living standard,
people
can
hugely
profit from enormous effect on social
health
and
culture
, and
many
countries have a purpose to adopt the pragmatic approach and decision to this scope.
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IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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