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Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.10

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. v. 10
It has been noticed, that games are getting encouraged by several organizations, although people have many concerns about it. It is as clear as the sky, that businessmen who partake into it, always get huge publicity of their brands, however, it persuades feasibility of match-fixing, which could be untoward repercussion. In my perspective, the government ought to raise the funds and facilities of players, so that, no such requirements will be occurred. As I believe, we get to know many of the new products, when our sport's models use it, and then, those become brands, later. Usually, in the stadiums, we can observe, plenty of posters of particular titles, are used on all the accessories as well as in around the ground. As a result of it, certain manufacturer has a monopoly in the market, of selling the sporty items, for example Decathalon, Nike are on the top of the list. I feel, no other way could be as effective as this is, for getting advertised, nationwide. On the other hand, it may stimulate game-fixing, in regards of involvement of big enterprises. As far as I know, these kind of offence occurs, just in the greed of money, and while you have millions as your feeder, then why there would not be chances of exacerbation? For instance, if there will be no such endorsement ailment, then the authorities are not the one, who will pay the team for cheating. So, being thoroughly dependent on such succours, is not the right practice. To conclude, factories assist game organizations, just for their own profitability. So, the bureaucrats ought to assert about it, as sport is a crucial part of a country and it cannot only surge the reputation, but also aggravate it, if would not work on the root causes.
It has
been noticed
, that games are getting encouraged by several organizations, although
people
have
many
concerns about it. It is as
clear
as the sky, that businessmen who partake into it, always
get
huge publicity of their brands,
however
, it persuades feasibility of match-fixing, which could be untoward repercussion. In my perspective, the
government
ought to raise the funds and facilities of players,
so
that, no such requirements will
be occurred
.

As I believe, we
get
to know
many
of the new products, when our sport's models
use
it, and then, those become brands, later.
Usually
, in the stadiums, we can observe,
plenty
of posters of particular titles, are
used
on all the accessories
as well
as in around the ground.
As a result
of it, certain manufacturer has a monopoly in the market, of selling the sporty items,
for example
Decathalon
, Nike
are
on the top of the list. I feel, no other way could be as effective as this is, for getting advertised, nationwide.

On the other hand
, it may stimulate game-fixing,
in regards of
involvement of
big
enterprises. As far as I know,
these kind
of
offence
occurs,
just
in the greed of money, and while you have millions as your feeder, then why there would not be chances of exacerbation?
For instance
, if there will be no such endorsement ailment, then the authorities are not the one, who will pay the team for cheating.
So
, being
thoroughly
dependent on such
succours
, is not the right practice.

To conclude
, factories assist game organizations,
just
for their
own
profitability.
So
, the bureaucrats ought to assert about it, as sport is a crucial part of a country and it cannot
only
surge the reputation,
but
also
aggravate it, if would not work on the root causes.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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