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Many children today find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What could you think are the main causes? What are the possible solutions ?

Many children today find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What could you think are the main causes? What are the possible solutions? dkbmX
Nowadays, children are paying less attention to school than before. There are various reasons behind this such as hard curriculum, harsh schedule and mischievous behaviour. In this essay, I will explain these causes in more detail and try to offer some effective solutions to at least alleviate this problem. There is no doubt that little one’s are showing less interest in the school curriculum. The very first cause is the hard and strict curriculum. For example, one school term is comprised of various scientific, technological and mathematical programs. There seems no space for the other courses like painting, art, physical and game period. Ultimately, every day’s similar yet technical practice turn young ones to show less enthusiasm compared to the very first day of school excitement. Secondly, today teenagers are following stringent time schedules. For example, with a fully packed timetable of tutorial classes and activities, all they left is just time for sleep. Making them have very little space for the little one to do exactly what he wants. Thirdly, the mischievous nature of children forces them to participate in play activities than follow the schedule that they are really not a fan of. They prefer to have more fun and hilarious moments due to the fact that this is what childhood is meant to be. However, there are various solutions for all the reasons enlisted above. Firstly, the need is to change the school timetable. The whole term should be comprised of games and art courses including all other scientific and mathematical approaches. This would at least break a monotonic routine of theory-based practices and provide some effective and efficient activities. Secondly, schools and parents can organize small tours to museums, zoos and science so as to increase young one’s interest in history, living species and scientific patterns. This would also increase and fulfil their curiosity to find fun while learning. To recapitulate, although this has become a necessity that children should have an interest and knowledge of the whole globe and its scientific routines, this could only be accomplished by providing a combination of his and world interest routines together. This will increase their interest together with a heterogeneous environment.
Nowadays, children are paying less attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. There are various reasons behind this such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
curriculum, harsh schedule and mischievous
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
these causes in more detail and try to offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective solutions to at least alleviate this problem.

There is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
one’s
are showing less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
cause is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and strict curriculum.
For example
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
term
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of" or "is composed of"?
is comprised of
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
, technological and mathematical programs. There seems no space for the other courses like painting, art, physical and game period.
Ultimately
, every day’s similar
yet
technical practice turn young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less enthusiasm compared to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
excitement.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are following stringent time schedules.
For example
, with a
fully
packed timetable of tutorial classes and activities, all they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
time for sleep. Making them have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
space for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one to do exactly what he wants.
Thirdly
, the mischievous nature of children forces them to participate in play activities than follow the schedule that they are
really
not a fan of. They prefer to have more fun and hilarious moments due to the fact that this is what childhood
is meant
to be.

However
, there are various solutions for all the reasons enlisted above.
Firstly
, the need is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
timetable. The whole term should
be comprised
of games and art courses including all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
and mathematical approaches. This would at least break a monotonic routine of theory-based practices and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective and efficient activities.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and parents can organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
tours to museums, zoos and science
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
increase young one’s
Did you mean "interested"?
interest
in history, living species and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
patterns. This would
also
increase and fulfil their curiosity to find fun while learning.

To recapitulate, although this has become a necessity that children should have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and knowledge of the whole globe and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
routines, this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be accomplished
by providing a combination of his and world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
routines together. This will increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
together with a heterogeneous environment.
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IELTS essay Many children today find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What could you think are the main causes? What are the possible solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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