Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

These days, children have many more opportunities to lead a healthy life than in the past. Because generally they live in hygienic surroundings and have plenty to eat. However, children’s life nowadays is not healthy as mentioned in advance. This is the reason why many children, who spend too much time to watch television or computer; do not take a large amount of exercise and have an unbalanced diet. It is reportedly believed that parent and school can do a lot of remedy this situation. Parents today are busier than in the past. As a result, almost children may append long hours in front of technology devices. So that, parents should spend more time doing exercise with their children. They could, for example, parents can go to a picnic in the fields or play sport such as football or volleyball with them. Moreover, schools also should include regular morning exercise in their timetables, with activities can help children ready to start a new day, such as physical education and compulsory sports. On the other hand, when parents too busy, they cannot cook a balanced diet for their children. As a result, children frequently eat plenty of fast food. So that, parents should cook for children with a range of foods which include plenty of vegetables and fruit and only small amounts of fat. If children are brought up on a healthy diet, they learn responsible eating habits and this, combines with plenty of physical activity, helps them to grow into healthy adults. In fact, having a healthy diet helps children to grow into healthy adults. Another factor affecting children’s lifestyle is governments. Nutritionists said that the government and health authorities have a significant responsibility to teach people how to create a healthy lifestyle for children. To illustrate that, by broadcasting progammes about healthy eating on television or by giving courses to new parents how to bring up their children. Moreover, the government can organize some seminars discuss about children’s healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, although the government can encourage and help by giving information to people, the responsibility for this problem belong to people who are regular contact with children, in other words, their parents and their teachers. Therefore, they have a responsibility to remedy this situation concerned to bring up and develop of children with a good healthy lifestyle.
These days,
children
have
many
more opportunities to lead a
healthy
life than in the past.
Because
generally
they
live
in hygienic surroundings and have
plenty
to eat.
However
,
children’s
life nowadays is not
healthy
as mentioned in advance. This is the reason why
many
children
, who spend too much time to
watch
television or computer; do not take a large amount of exercise and have an unbalanced diet.

It is reportedly believed that
parent
and school can do
a lot of remedy
this situation.
Parents
today
are busier than in the past.
As a result
, almost
children
may append long hours in front of technology devices.
So
that,
parents
should spend more time doing exercise with their
children
. They could,
for example
,
parents
can go to a picnic in the fields or play sport such as football or volleyball with them.
Moreover
, schools
also
should include regular morning exercise in their timetables, with activities can
help
children
ready to
start
a new day, such as physical education and compulsory sports.

On the other hand
, when
parents
too busy, they cannot cook a balanced diet for their
children
.
As a result
,
children
frequently
eat
plenty
of
fast
food.
So
that,
parents
should cook for
children
with a range of foods which include
plenty
of vegetables and fruit and
only
small
amounts of
fat
. If
children
are brought
up on a
healthy
diet, they learn responsible eating habits and this, combines with
plenty
of physical activity,
helps
them to grow into
healthy
adults. In fact, having a
healthy
diet
helps
children
to grow into
healthy
adults.

Another factor affecting
children’s
lifestyle is
governments
. Nutritionists said that the
government
and health authorities have a significant responsibility to teach
people
how to create a
healthy
lifestyle for
children
. To illustrate that, by broadcasting
progammes
about
healthy
eating on television or by giving courses to new
parents
how to bring up their
children
.
Moreover
, the
government
can organize
some
seminars discuss about
children’s
healthy
lifestyle.

In conclusion
, although the
government
can encourage and
help
by giving information to
people
, the responsibility for this problem belong to
people
who are regular contact with
children
,
in other words
, their
parents
and their teachers.
Therefore
, they have a responsibility to remedy this situation concerned to bring up and develop of
children
with a
good
healthy
lifestyle.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts