Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many children participate in social networks on the Internet instead of participating in community activities in their neighborhood. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Many children participate in social networks on the Internet instead of participating in community activities in their neighborhood. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? 6moQ8
There has been a significant increase development in the number of children who take part in social activities on the Internet instead of going out to participate in community activities with their friends. The benefits and drawbacks of this development will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, there are many advantages to the fact that why many children prefer social networks to community activities. First, Tthanks to social networks, children can talk to friends without having face-to-face meetings. For instance, children use Zalo or Messenger at home to call and text messages to their friends who are far away. In addition, Uusing social networks can also help children to enrich their knowledge and make new friends. When children surf the Internet, they can see many articles which have essential information that is useful for their lives and many people with similar interests to be friends with. Besides, using social networks help children to improve their technology skills, so they can have more opportunities to get a good job in the future. On the other hand, there still have many downsides. Social media can affect children both physically and mentally if they use it for a long time. Children will become weaker because of lacking physical movement and too much exposure to electronic devices will cause their eyes to be tired. A survey on social networks consisting of Facebook and Twitter in the UK in 2014 showed that over two-thirds of users had have trouble sleeping due to anxiety and other negative emotions after accessing social networking sites. Moreover, Cchildren can become addicted and lazy, and may do not want to contact with the world outside if they overuse the social media. After examining the issue, it is evident that this phenomenon has both good points and bad points. But in my opinion, I think it is good for children if they spend more time in community activities than on in social networks.
There has been a significant increase development in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
on the Internet
instead
of going out to participate in community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. The benefits and drawbacks of this development will
be discussed
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to the fact that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
to community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
First
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tthanks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
without having face-to-face meetings.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zalo
or Messenger at home to call and text messages to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who are far away.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enrich their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
surf the Internet, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
articles which have essential information
that is
useful for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with similar interests to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with.
Besides
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in the future.

On the other hand
, there
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downsides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
both
physically
and mentally if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for a long time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will become weaker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking physical movement and too much exposure to electronic devices will cause their eyes to
be tired
. A survey on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
consisting of Facebook and Twitter in the UK in 2014
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that over two-thirds of users had
Use past participle here: "had".
have
trouble sleeping due to anxiety and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions after accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cchildren
can become addicted and lazy, and may do not want to contact with the world outside if they overuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

After examining the issue, it is evident that this phenomenon has both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
points.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they spend more time in community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
than on in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many children participate in social networks on the Internet instead of participating in community activities in their neighborhood. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many children participate in social networks on the Internet instead of participating in community activities in their neighborhood. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?