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Machines are becoming very sophisticated. Workers are benefiting from that. Discuss to what extent good points overweight bad points

Machines are becoming very sophisticated. Workers are benefiting from that. Discuss to what extent good points overweight bad points 6xaY0
In this modern world the technology is progressing very fast and modification of old machines are going on. The companies are producing new machines which can take out production very fast and safety feature are also taken in consideration. This machines is helpful to workers and they get more time to rest. In olden times when most of the work done through hands many projects takes year to complete and there were chances that workers hurt themselves and they use to work for long hours. These new machines have many good points but it share some bad effects like people are losing job and unemployment is increasing. These new machines are helpful in producing goods very fast and safely that saves time and the workers are also safe, take for instance the example of coal mines where in old en times all extraction of coal were done through hands and there were many chances of workers being badly hurt that they had to be hospitalised but as per new machines the extraction is done through them and workers are also safe. These new machines help in worker to work for less time and spend more time with their family. In past they usually work for 12 to fifteen hours but now they work for 8 to 10 hours. These new machines help to complete projects which were impossible in past and if possible it take years to complete, for example bridges, dams, in past it take 5 years to complete bridge and more labour labour was required and increase the cost while today they are completed within year and less workers are required. This new machines have many good points for workers but it has some bad points also. The worker who don't know how to operate these machines loose the job, as this machines do work of ten labours so less workers were needed and thus leads to unemploymency and workers had to divert their field to find new job. To conclude, these new machines help workers to spend more time with their children and they are also safe but now less labour is required so they has to diversify to new field to find job
In this modern world the technology is progressing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and modification of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are going on. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
which can take out production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and safety feature are
also
taken in consideration.
Did you mean "these"?
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
You should probably use: "are".
is
helpful to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
workers and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest. In olden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done through hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
projects takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
and there were chances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
hurt
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
themselves and
they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long hours. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "shares"?
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are losing job and unemployment is increasing.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are helpful in producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
safely
that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
also
safe, take
for instance
the example of coal mines where in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
en
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
all extraction of coal
were done
through hands and there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
being
badly
hurt that they had to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
the extraction
is done
through them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are
also
safe.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family. In past they
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for 12 to fifteen hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for 8 to 10 hours.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
projects which were impossible in past

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
if possible it
Did you mean "takes"?
take
years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
,
for example
bridges, dams, in past it take 5 years to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
bridge and more
Possible typo: you repeated a word
labour labour
was required
and increase the cost while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
they
are completed
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun workers is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are required
.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
points
also
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
who don't know how to operate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
loose the job, as
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of ten
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun workers is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
were needed
and
thus
leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemploymency
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
had to divert their field to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job.

To conclude
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they are
also
safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
is required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "have", "haven"
has
to diversify to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
field to find job
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IELTS essay Machines are becoming very sophisticated. Workers are benefiting from that. Discuss to what extent good points overweight bad points

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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