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Luck: the unimportant aspect of our life or a necessary instrument to reach success

Luck: the unimportant aspect of our life or a necessary instrument to reach success YdQ8Q
Most people claim that you need to work hard to achieve your goals, reach success and luck does not play any role. How truthful it is? Well, let’s think about it. To my mind, this statement is a little too harsh, so I don’t agree. Luck has a huge impact on people's lives, because it can change their paths in different directions, which can turn lives upside down. That means, that to achieve success, you should not ignore the importance of it. Here are a few examples, how luck can influence not only the career, but your social status as well. There are cases when a meeting with a modeling agent or a director on the street are the new lucky pass to becoming popular and successful. There are also many examples of lucky people who got rich without those impossible struggles. Many examples of unexpected boosts of people can be brought up, but what I’m really trying to say, proving my point, that a little bit of luck always eases the path to success. But of course I’m not claiming that there is only luck. It’s just a very useful instrument to self improvement and development of qualities, allowing people to stay successful and smart with what they have reached, from which the famous proverb arises: “Work smart, not hard”. To conclude my ideas, I will repeat that hard work is the first step to success, and this is a must, but luck is what makes our life more exiting, motivates and allows to reach success faster. They’re simply complementary to each other.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that you need to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve your goals, reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and luck does not play any role. How truthful it is? Well,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it.

To my mind, this statement is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
too harsh,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. Luck has a huge impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their paths in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
directions, which can turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
upside down. That means, that to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, you should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the importance of it.

Here are a few examples, how luck can influence not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your social status
as well
. There are cases when a meeting with a modeling agent or a director on the street are the new lucky pass to becoming popular and successful. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of lucky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
rich without those impossible struggles.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
examples of unexpected boosts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be brought
up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what I’m
really
trying to say, proving my point, that a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of luck always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
the path to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
of course
I’m not claiming that there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
luck. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful instrument to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self improvement
and development of qualities, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay successful and smart with what they have reached, from which the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
proverb arises: “Work smart, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
”.

To conclude
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, I will repeat that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is the
first
step to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, and this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
luck is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life more exiting, motivates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Did you mean "reaching"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
faster. They’re
simply
complementary to each other.
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IELTS essay Luck: the unimportant aspect of our life or a necessary instrument to reach success

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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