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Longer life spans and improvements on the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 65 can continue to live full and active lives

People over the age of sixty-five are nowadays living a full and active life, This did not happen before since people this age were sicker and did not have The strength and health they are having today. Older people can contribute in So many ways to benefit society nowadays. Older people have lived more, this meaning they have more experience and Can help to improve many things in the present society. For example, older Teachers are more in love with the subjects they teach, this means they can Teach better and get the students to understand more and love the subjects. People in general love to take classes with older people, as they say, older people are wise and know more about subjects and life. People also can rely on older people to get advice and help when needed. Many people go to their grandparents or older friends for help when they need guidance. Another example can be seen in older doctors and nurses. Older doctors know more tricks and ways to discover diseases that are not shown in books. Older health workers have more knowledge and experience in their careers, they can teach all the new colleagues, and continue saving lives and helping people. To conclude older people nowadays have more energy and health, this means they can continue contributing to society with their knowledge and experience, as doctors, nurses, teachers, and many other professionals. People can continue relying on senior citizens no matter the circumstances or the relationship they have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
over the age of sixty-five are nowadays living a full and active life,

This did not happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
this age were sicker and did not have

The strength and health they are having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can contribute
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
in


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to benefit society nowadays.

Older
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people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
more, this meaning they have more experience and

Can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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many
things in the present society.
For example
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
older


Teachers are more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with the subjects they teach, this means they can

Teach better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the students to understand more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the subjects.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to take classes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as they say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are wise and know more about subjects and life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
can rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when needed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to their grandparents or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
friends for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when they need guidance.

Another example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
doctors and nurses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
doctors
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
know


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
more
tricks and ways to discover diseases that are not shown in books. Older

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
health
workers have more knowledge and experience in their careers, they can

teach all the new colleagues, and continue saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays have more energy and health, this means

they can continue contributing to society with their knowledge and experience,

as doctors, nurses, teachers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other professionals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can continue relying on senior citizens no matter the circumstances or the relationship they have.
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IELTS essay Longer life spans and improvements on the health of older people suggest that people over the age of 65 can continue to live full and active lives

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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