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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? 6b3r
With improvements in medicine, it is now a very real possibility that senior citizens can live longer and enjoy an active lifestyle. In my opinion, society can benefit a lot from senior citizens living longer lives and fulfilling lives since the experience and wisdom that a senior citizen can offer is invaluable to the development of civilization. Primarily, one of the most important benefits a pensioner can bring is the wealth of experience in almost every field, especially in administration and education as older people were made to undergo tougher school syllabi and tougher times. For example, veteran administrators from world war times and elder professionals offer a dearth of knowledge and experience to guide the younger generations through lean periods in life. Elder citizens can guide children and inculcate them with good values and etiquette. Also, elder statesmen in identifying and molding future leaders for the benefit of society. Senior citizens can guide and make the younger generations understand the importance of family values. Also, forging intergenerational relationships between the seniors and youngsters will benefit both of them and help the young learn vital skills applicable in their lives. For instance, work ethic, mental strength, soft skills, and technical knowledge can be gleaned from retirees by the current crop. In addition to this, senior citizens are more willing to contribute to tax revenue compared to the other generations and these senior citizens can have a positive influence on young adults to become responsible citizens. To conclude, veterans above the age of 65 can contribute positively to the benefit of society. The dearth of experience and wisdom they possess can be passed on to the oncoming generations, playing a vital role in the holistic development of both civilization and the population.
With improvements in medicine, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
real possibility that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer and enjoy an active lifestyle. In my opinion, society can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
living longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and wisdom that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
can offer is invaluable to the development of civilization.

Primarily
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
a pensioner can bring is the wealth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in almost every field,
especially
in administration and education as older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were made
to undergo tougher school syllabi and tougher times.
For example
, veteran administrators from world war times and elder professionals offer a dearth of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to guide the younger generations through lean periods in life. Elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can guide children and inculcate them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values and etiquette.
Also
, elder statesmen in identifying and molding future leaders for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of society.

Senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can guide and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the younger generations understand the importance of family values.
Also
, forging intergenerational relationships between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
and youngsters will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
both of them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young learn vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
applicable in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For instance
, work ethic, mental strength, soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and technical knowledge can
be gleaned
from retirees by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
crop.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
are more willing to contribute to tax revenue compared to the other generations and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on young adults to become responsible citizens.

To conclude
, veterans above the age of 65 can contribute
positively
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of society. The dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and wisdom they possess can
be passed
on to the oncoming generations, playing a vital role in the holistic development of both civilization and the population.
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IELTS essay Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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