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Loneliness is a growing problem among the elderly population. Why is this? How might this be remedied?

Loneliness is a growing problem among the elderly population. Why is this? How might this be remedied? 0ldpB
In today’s world, loneliness is a recurring problem for seniors. Reasons and possible remidies will be discussed in this essay. First and foremost, being lonely is definitely a serious problem, it can affect people’s life heavily. Though this problem can happen to anyone, but it is happening to the majority of old people and it does not seem to be decreasing. To begin with, due to the appearance of smartphones and many forms of entertaiment platforms, younger people are starting to lose track of the surrounding world and abbandon their love ones. They think that their elders are difficult to deal with and are very boring to be around. Additionaly, because of their old age, the seniors are incapable of doing a variety of actions. They have to set aside their hobby since their body can no longer allow it. In order to help old people cope with loneliness, everyone should face it together. It is true that the seniors are limited in many aspects but that does mean they are incapable of doing everything. Still, they are very wise and experienced. Children and even adult can learn a thing or two from them. Since the seniors are rather fragile, their children should gradually visit and take care of them. In conclusion, loneliness is the result of the lack of attention and can easily be turned around with enough care. Nowadays, people are all caught up in the rush of life to the point that they seem to forget about their family
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, loneliness is a recurring problem for seniors. Reasons and possible
Possible spelling mistake found.
remidies
will
be discussed
in this essay.

First
and foremost, being lonely is definitely a serious problem, it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life
heavily
. Though

this problem can happen to anyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is happening to the majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it does not

seem to be decreasing. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, due to the appearance of smartphones and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms of

Possible spelling mistake found.
entertaiment
platforms, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are starting to lose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of the surrounding world and

Possible spelling mistake found.
abbandon
their
Did you mean "loved ones"?
love ones
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their elders are difficult to deal with and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring to be

around.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Additionaly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age, the seniors are incapable of doing a variety of actions.

They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
set aside their hobby since their body can no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
it.

In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cope with loneliness, everyone should face it together. It is true that the

seniors
are limited
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that does mean they are incapable of doing everything.
Still
,

they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
wise and experienced. Children and even adult can learn a thing or two from them. Since

the seniors are
rather
fragile, their children should
gradually
visit and take care of them.

In conclusion
, loneliness is the result of the lack of attention and can
easily
be turned
around with

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are all caught up in the rush of life to the point that they seem to forget

about their family

IELTS essay Loneliness is a growing problem among the elderly population. Why is this? How might this be remedied?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
251 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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