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Local history and world history

Local history and world history WgBwW
Many people hold the opinion that students these days should be exposed to domestic history rather than global history. I partially concur with this notion, and this essay is aimed at providing compelling justification for my position. On the one hand, there are a number of different explanations to be taken into account as to why studying history of their hometown should be given precedence. For one thing, national history makes a huge contribution to cultivate student’s sense of patriotism. By and large, on the grounds that when students have a deeper understanding about their origin and how ancestors defended their homeland against invaders, they would make an effort to become a good citizen as a way to deserve their ancestor’s sacrifice. Added to this is the fact that learning national history is the responsibility of each individual student for their own country. Since, the young generation are considered as the core of the country's development, they are in charge of maintaining traditional values and identity by being knowledgeable about national background. On the other hand, obtaining knowledge about world history necessarily shares equal significance for several reasons. To begin with, granted that today’s concept of globalization is becoming increasingly popular, young people essentially have comprehensive knowledge, giving them more opportunities to be exposed to the outside world. Another important rationale behind this is that obtaining knowledge on a world scale is beneficial for education and career. Given the fact that working in an international environment is becoming a go-to choice of many people due to higher salary. In conclusion, I take the position that while to some extent regional history should be included in the school’s curriculum, it is essential for students to know about international history for the reasons mentioned above.
Many
people
hold the opinion that
students
these days should
be exposed
to domestic
history
rather
than global
history
. I
partially
concur with this notion, and this essay
is aimed
at providing compelling justification for my position.

On the one hand, there are a number of
different
explanations to
be taken
into account as to why studying
history
of their hometown should be
given
precedence. For one thing, national
history
makes
a huge contribution to cultivate
student’s
sense of patriotism. By and large, on the grounds that when
students
have a deeper understanding about their origin and how ancestors defended their homeland against invaders, they would
make
an effort to become a
good
citizen as a way to deserve their ancestor’s sacrifice.
Added
to this is the fact that learning national
history
is the responsibility of each individual
student
for their
own
country. Since, the young generation
are considered
as the core of the country's development, they are in charge of maintaining traditional values and identity by being knowledgeable about national background.

On the other hand
, obtaining knowledge about world
history
necessarily
shares equal significance for several reasons. To
begin
with, granted that
today
’s concept of globalization is becoming
increasingly
popular, young
people
essentially
have comprehensive knowledge, giving them more opportunities to
be exposed
to the outside world. Another
important
rationale behind this is that obtaining knowledge on a world scale is beneficial for education and career.
Given
the fact that working in an international environment is becoming a go-to choice of
many
people
due to higher salary.

In conclusion
, I take the position that while to
some
extent regional
history
should
be included
in the school’s curriculum, it is essential for
students
to know about international
history
for the reasons mentioned above.
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IELTS essay Local history and world history

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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