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ln some counlries oround lhe world rnen ond women ore hoying children lole in life. Whot ore the reosons for fhis development? Whot ore fhe effecfs on sociely ond fomily life?

ln some counlries oround lhe world rnen ond women ore hoying children lole in life. Whot ore the reosons for fhis development? Whot ore fhe effecfs on sociely ond fomily life? pakWD
People in the past tend to establish families earlier in life in their 20s. But now things have changed, so the majority of people in some countries are having children late in life. In this essay I will discuss the behind reasons that create this situation, and I will give some effects that reproduce on society and family life. Nowadays life become difficult especially from the financial aspect, men and women are too busy now working on their career. As a result they don't think about settling down until they reach a certain age, take example of the USA in 1950 women get married about the age of 18 for men around 19, Now the number has increased to 30 for men and 28 for women. Thus they would have children late in life. In addition, the invention of birth control give people the power of their sexuality to have sex with whatever they want without commitment and without fearing of the pregnancy. Marriage become less important than before. This situation could caused some serious damage such the decline of birth rate because the most fertile age for both men and women is in their 20s. In addition, Having children later are not fun because children need a lot of work to take care of them and when people getting older their physicality decreased plus it is a bad idea to have children when you are old because you wouldn't have the opportunity to see your grandchildren and have big happy family. In conclusion, family consist of parents and children what is the point of getting married in the first place if you won't have children in the youth.
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People
in the past tend to establish families earlier in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in their 20s.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
things have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the majority of
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people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


countries are having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
late in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this essay I will discuss the behind reasons that create this situation, and I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects that reproduce on society and family life.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
become difficult
especially
from the financial aspect,
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men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are too busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
working on their career.
As a result
they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about settling down until they reach a certain age, take example of the USA in 1950
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married

about the age of 18 for
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men
around 19,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the number has increased to 30 for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 28 for
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women
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they would have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
late in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
, the invention of birth control give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the power of their sexuality to have sex with whatever they want without commitment and without fearing of the pregnancy.

Marriage become less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

This situation could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "cause"
caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious damage such the decline of birth rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the most fertile age for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is in their 20s.
In addition
, Having
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children
later are not fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
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children
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work to take care of them and when
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people
getting older their physicality decreased plus

it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you wouldn't have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your grandchildren and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
happy family.

In conclusion
, family consist of parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what is the point of getting married in the
first
place if you won't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the youth.
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IELTS essay ln some counlries oround lhe world rnen ond women ore hoying children lole in life. Whot ore the reosons for fhis development? Whot ore fhe effecfs on sociely ond fomily life?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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