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Living in foreign countries without knowing about foreign language and cannot speak, leads to detrimental issues such as social and feasible problems. I personally believe that people for living overseas should overcome barrier language.

Living in foreign countries without knowing about foreign language and cannot speak, leads to detrimental issues such as social and feasible problems. I personally believe that people for living overseas should overcome barrier language. EpKB3
On the one hand, the most significant factor for living in foreign countries with different native languages is that learning a foreign language, since the primary way to interact with other people in different countries is knowing their language. For instance, immigrants deal with severe problems if they cannot connect and speak with other people. As a result, if immigrants have not enough ability to speak it affect socialize and make friend. Besides, they would loss their job efficiently and they cannot enrol in university even going shopping or find direction. Consequently, people in foreign countries face serious issues. On the other hand, shortage of knowing a foreign language for cooperating with other people leads to some mental health, due to primitive men that to settle their problems and arguments with speaking with each other. Thus, when people cannot recognize foreign language in overseas countries they become depressed and upset. Additionally, immigrant loss their self-stream and confident, so social behaviour of newcomer damage, they secluded themselves from the rest of society and they cannot behaviour same as normal people. In conclusion, happening detrimental problems such as practicable and sociable issues for immigrant without having the ability to speak a foreign language, so I believe it is necessary to learn foreign languages for protecting their social and practical issues.
On the one hand, the most significant factor for living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is that learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, since the primary way to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is knowing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
deal with severe problems if they cannot connect and speak with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability to speak it affect socialize and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friend.
Besides
, they would
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
their job
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
efficiently and
they cannot enrol in university even going shopping or find direction.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
face serious issues.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, shortage of knowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
for cooperating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
leads
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental health, due to primitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
that to settle their problems and arguments with speaking with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Thus
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot recognize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they become depressed and upset.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
loss their self-stream and confident,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of newcomer damage, they secluded themselves from the rest of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they
The word 'behaviour' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
cannot behaviour
same as normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, happening detrimental problems such as practicable and sociable issues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
without having the ability to speak a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I believe it is necessary to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
for protecting their social and practical issues.
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IELTS essay Living in foreign countries without knowing about foreign language and cannot speak, leads to detrimental issues such as social and feasible problems. I personally believe that people for living overseas should overcome barrier language.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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