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Art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that improves our lives. However, some parents say schools concentrate on teaching more academic subjects, such as mathematics, science, literature and history.

Art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that improves our lives. However, some parents say schools concentrate on teaching more academic subjects, such as mathematics, science, literature and history. 063G1
Art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that improves our lives. However, some parents say schools concentrate on teaching more academic subjects, such as mathematics, science, literature and history. In my opinion, schools should teach about none academic subjects such as arts, it will help the individual to make creativity. this essay will discuss about the advantages of learning none academic subjects in the following paragraphs To begin with, learning art subjects enhance the creative skills of peoples and they will also get a much-needed break from the regular subjects. It enables them to develop their creative thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for improving learning power in the academic subjects. Moreover, some school are provided with arts skills and several hidden artistic abilities, so these classes can give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further and improve them. These extraordinary skills when improved to the best can be utilised as a profession or career. Furthermore, art subjects can strengthen the creativity and flexibility of individuals. Liberal arts, which include cultural understanding and knowledge, also include other arts subjects. In addition, we are living in the artificial intelligence world, which computers are replacing human labor and office work more and more. In this regard, human creativity becomes more important. Therefore, art subjects are being more in demand to make a difference between individuals and computers. In conclusion, academic and arts subjects should be in a school syllabus in a balanced way. Art subjects can also nature a better personality in individuals, so participation in these classes should be encouraged as well as academic achievements.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
concentrate on teaching more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as mathematics, science, literature and history. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should teach about none
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
creativity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
advantages of learning none
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the following
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
paragraphs


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
enhance the creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
peoples and
they will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a much-needed break from the regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. It enables them to develop their creative thinking and imaginative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which are beneficial for improving learning power in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "schools"?
school
are provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and several hidden artistic abilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these classes can give them a platform where they can develop these abilities
further
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them. These extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to the best can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
as a profession or career.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can strengthen the creativity and flexibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Liberal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, which include cultural understanding and knowledge,
also
include other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
In addition
, we are living in the artificial intelligence world, which computers are replacing human labor and office work more and more. In this regard, human creativity becomes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are being more in demand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and computers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus in a balanced way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can
also
nature a better personality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
participation in these classes should
be encouraged
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements.
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IELTS essay Art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are fundamentals that improves our lives. However, some parents say schools concentrate on teaching more academic subjects, such as mathematics, science, literature and history.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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