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living in a country where you have to speak in a new language can cause social and practial problems do you agree

living in a country where you have to speak in a new language can cause social and practial problems do you agree Lr3qK
As we all know, the world has become a small village. Which means that a lot of people have to move out from their homelands to find work or study opportunities, and as soon as they step their feet on the new land, they are faced with a huge expression barrier however i strongly believe that this barrier can lead to serious problems For starters, not everyone is nice and patient towards citizens who strife with this new prose as they would embarrass and insult them rather than offering help which may cause major social issues for them. for instance, I have been in this situation myself, thus I stopped asking for help unless it was urgent. In addition, a big proportion of employers do not fathom hiring international employees since the working conditions would be foreign therefore it will take them a while to get used to the place and it is more easy to hire someone who speaks the mother dialect fluently. likewise, international students combat as well when it comes to adapting to the new studies systems. In short, foreign people will battle one way or another. All in all, dialect differencences makes up a huge take on the new people struggles in foreign countries, both socially and practically
As we all know, the world has become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village. Which means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out from their homelands to find work or study opportunities, and as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they step their feet on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
land, they
are faced
with a huge expression
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
barrier


Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that this barrier can lead to serious problems

For starters, not everyone is nice and patient towards citizens who strife with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
prose as they would embarrass and insult them
rather
than offering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
which may cause major social issues for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, I have been in this situation myself,
thus
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
asking for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
unless it was urgent.

In addition
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
proportion of employers do not fathom hiring international employees since the working conditions would be foreign
therefore
it will take them a while to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the place and it is more easy to hire someone who speaks the mother dialect
fluently
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, international students combat
as well
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to adapting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
studies systems. In short, foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will battle one way or another.

All in all, dialect
Possible spelling mistake found.
differencences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up a huge take on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
struggles
in foreign countries, both
socially
and
practically
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IELTS essay living in a country where you have to speak in a new language can cause social and practial problems do you agree

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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