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In this technological world,The number of new inventions has been increasing.advantages or disadvantages?

In this technological world, The number of new inventions has been increasing. advantages or disadvantages? BJLQm
One of the conspicuous trends of todays world is a colossal of upsurge in the number of people believe that the number of new inventions should not be considered as disadvantages in the technology world. There is widespread worry that this will lead to a myriad of concerns in one's life. However, I do not entirely accept this and i will explain why in this essay. There are several arguments in favour of my stance. one of the most preponderant is that it will create a new job opportunity for newcomers and there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not only one benefits when it comes to being effective, but it can enhance productivity, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all merits stand on one side as far as augmenting the chance of prosperity and excellence is concerned. Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it only likely to help with thrive and excel in varied areas. Besides, it is only one factor of the such a system, and they can broaden horizons and thus learning such attributes as dedication and perseverance. Hence, it is apparent why many are in favor of an increasing the new inventions in the technology world. In the views of the arguments outlined above, One can conclude that the benefits of the new inventions in this new technology world are indeed too great to ignore.
One of the conspicuous trends of
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world is
The phrase 'a colossal of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a colossal of
upsurge in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions should not
be considered
as disadvantages in the technology world. There is widespread worry that this will lead to a myriad of concerns in one's life.
However
, I do not
entirely
accept this and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay.

There are several arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the most preponderant is that it will create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job opportunity for newcomers and there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantages it offers, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one benefits when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to being effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can enhance productivity, efficacy and convenience. Needless to say, all merits stand on one side as far as augmenting the chance of prosperity and excellence
is concerned
.

Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned proposition is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with thrive and excel in varied areas.
Besides
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one factor of the such a system, and they can broaden horizons and
thus
learning such attributes as dedication and perseverance.
Hence
, it is apparent why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are in favor of an increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions in the technology world.

In the views of the arguments outlined above, One can conclude that the benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology world are
indeed
too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.

IELTS essay In this technological world, The number of new inventions has been increasing. advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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