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related well to people are more important than studying

related well to people are more important than studying kYEOO
In the last three decades, the ability to related well to people and its relation to success has been a common trend. Some people believe that working hard in schools and study academic subjects are the most crucial things to achieve success. However, others claim that relating well to people is more significant than studying to ensure success in a future job. From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight given that having functional social networks have a positive impact on people's experience and teamwork and communication skills. The first and foremost point, provided that people have an active social circle, they could enhance their experience. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on that is the employees in the management department could promote their knowledge and amplify their understanding when they have extended relationships. To put it in other words, they could understand people's habits so that they could build up their business with confidence. Consequently, having many friends is integral to success. Next, coupled with experience, teamwork is another noticeable benefit of relating well to people. If people are flexible and have many friends, they could boost their teamwork skills, which is essential to attain a good job. For instance, prestigious technological companies, such as Microsoft and Apple, put prerequisites for their applicants that they should have the ability to work on teams. Furthermore, the ability to relate well to people could increase companies' economic success. As a result, having expanded social networks is indispensable. Ultimately, communication skill is another subtle point that should be born in mind. Although schools could teach their students many academic subjects, they could not educate them with various skills. As long as people have extended relationships, they could foster their social skills. For example, medical representatives who could relate well to people have proper communication skills, which could help them to achieve their target quickly; thus they could be promoted to managerial positions with high salaries. Therefore, functional relations with people have a considerable influence on people's career success. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, related well to people is more important than studying hard in schools, not only because it could enhance people's skills, but also help them to get better jobs. It is suggested that schools educate their students about the importance of having extended relationships.
In the last three decades, the ability to related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and its relation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
has been a common trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and study academic subjects are the most crucial things to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
However
, others claim that relating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more significant than studying to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in a future job. From a personal perspective, the latter point of view carries more weight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
experience and teamwork and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

The
first
and foremost point, provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
circle, they could enhance their experience. A vivid example that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on
that is
the employees in the management department could promote their knowledge and amplify their understanding when they have extended relationships. To put it
in other words
, they could understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could build up their business with confidence.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends is integral to success.

Next
, coupled with experience, teamwork is another noticeable benefit of relating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are flexible and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends, they could boost their teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which is essential to attain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.
For instance
, prestigious technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as Microsoft and Apple, put prerequisites for their applicants that they should have the ability to work on teams.
Furthermore
, the ability to relate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
expanded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks is indispensable.

Ultimately
, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is another subtle point that should
be born
in mind. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
could teach their students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
academic subjects, they could not educate them with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have extended relationships, they could foster their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, medical representatives who could relate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have proper communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve their target
quickly
;
thus
they could
be promoted
to managerial positions with high salaries.
Therefore
, functional relations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a considerable influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
career success.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better jobs. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
educate their students about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
extended relationships.
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IELTS essay related well to people are more important than studying

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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