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level of youth crime is increasing day by day aroun the world. Give some reasons and some sollutions to stop it.

level of youth crime is increasing day by day aroun the world. Give some reasons and some sollutions to stop it. AjgVN
From a decade, the rate of juvenile delinquency has been increasing day by days all over the world. Although there is a number of factors which directly give birth to various crimes due to influence by social media and less attention devoted by parents, however, this practice can be resolved by monitoring and controlling the access of social network. This essay will highlight some reasons, and solutions to alleviate crime rates as it progresses. To begin with, the main reason for increased offences rates is excessive use of social media where children see a plethora of negative news or posts which directly effect on their mind. Therefore, they follow those shortcut paths or ways to achieve money, and due to peer influence or pressure, they commit a crime. What is more, as parents are quite busy in their work and household lives, they rarely got time to spend with their offsprings. Eventually, they have less control over monitoring the activities of juveniles. In loneliness and detachment, they come under the bad companies, as a consequence, they become offensive. Nevertheless, there is certainly a number of measurements to mitigate the aforementioned offences. Firstly, even though using electronic gadgets become a part and parcel of children's daily life, parents should monitor the activities and time they spend on the usage so that they could not explore bad stuff on internet, thus, educating them to follow the right paths to achieve their goals. Secondly, here both government and parents should restrict social media usage which directly triggers the mindset of adolescents. Giving less access to negative news and fewer peer effects will change their mind ultimately. To recapitulate, this essay has highlighted the potential factors behind the escalating rates of juvenile's offences which highly affected by the usage of social media and minor company by parents which can be eliminated to some extent by accompanying and guiding them.
From a decade, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of juvenile delinquency has been increasing day by days all over the world. Although there is a number of factors which
directly
give birth to various crimes due to influence by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and less attention devoted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
however
, this practice can
be resolved
by monitoring and controlling the access of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network. This essay will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, and solutions to alleviate crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
as it progresses.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason for increased
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
is excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
where children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a plethora of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
news or posts which
directly
effect on their mind.
Therefore
, they follow those shortcut paths or ways to achieve money, and due to peer influence or pressure, they commit a crime.
What is more
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are quite busy in their work and household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, they rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
time to spend with their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
Eventually
, they have less control over monitoring the activities of juveniles. In loneliness and detachment, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, as a consequence, they become offensive.

Nevertheless
, there is
certainly
a number of measurements to mitigate the aforementioned
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.
Firstly
,
even though
using electronic gadgets become a part and parcel of children's daily life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should monitor the activities and time they spend on the usage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could not explore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
stuff on internet,
thus
, educating them to follow the right paths to achieve their goals.
Secondly
, here both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
usage which
directly
triggers the mindset of adolescents. Giving less access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
news and fewer peer effects will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind
ultimately
.

To recapitulate, this essay has highlighted the potential factors behind the escalating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of juvenile's
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
which
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which can
be eliminated
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent by accompanying and guiding them.
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IELTS essay level of youth crime is increasing day by day aroun the world. Give some reasons and some sollutions to stop it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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