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level of crime is increasing & crime becomes more violent? what do you think & what can be done.

crime has reached to its peak whether country is developed or under developed, it is matter of concern as daily newspapers, other communication medias are full with these kind of news. this passage aims on rising crime rate as it is becoming more harsh these days & some measures to reduce its impact. Crime is attaining its peak due to major factors. First factor is unemployment, it is prime factor because lot of young aspiring minds that have knowledge and efficiency to do great things but did'nt have proper platform/job in hand. the intensions of earning money
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
crime
has reached to its peak whether country
is developed
or
This is normally spelled as one word.
under developed
, it is matter of concern as daily newspapers, other communication medias are
The usual collocation for “full” is “of”, not “with”. Did you mean “full of”?
full with
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “these kinds”?
these kind
of news.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
passage
The usual collocation for “aims” is “at”, not “on”. Did you mean “aims at”?
aims on
rising crime rate as it is becoming more harsh these days &
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its impact. Crime is attaining its peak due to major factors.
First
factor is unemployment, it is prime factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
young aspiring minds that have knowledge and efficiency to do great things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean “didn’t”?
did'nt
have proper platform/job in hand.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
intensions
of earning
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
money

IELTS essay level of crime is increasing & crime becomes more violent? what do you think & what can be done.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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