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letts writing task-2 Schools should stop using books for teaching and instrad use bilms, TV and computers. Do you agree on desagree with this ? statement

letts writing task-2 Schools should stop using books for teaching and instrad use bilms, TV and computers. eRD1G
It is often argued that books should be stopped from the institutes and in lieu of film, tv, computers should be used. I disagree with this opinion and I think that books are the main element of schools. However, multimedia could be used besides books. First of all. I believe that among all the elements books are the main things. Because every students use book during the class time as well as they can trace and underline the main words or sentences in their books so that when they back home they can remember their task easily seeing their books. For example, when learners return from schools and to complete their home task, they try to remember their answers observing under lined words or sentences. So, it is very important to have books in schools. Secondly, books are very easy to use instead of using tv, computers or films. Books can be used at anytime whereas, studies on tv are broadcast at a certain time. Not only this but also it is difficult to learn or teach from a long film. For instance, as a teacher I will have to teach about foods. If I use a film, to teach foods vocabulary, it will take long time. Another example, our authority provides books to the learners in lieu of computers as this machine is very expensive. That's why books are available to use and than another elements. To conclude, i strongly believe that schools should use books definitely and use tv, film or computer if possible for the learners' convenience.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
from the institutes and in lieu of film,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, computers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. I disagree with this opinion and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the main element of schools.
However
, multimedia could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
besides
books.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
. I believe that among all the elements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the main things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
time
as well
as they can trace and underline the main words or sentences in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that when they back home they can remember their task
easily
seeing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
For example
, when learners return from schools and to complete their home task, they try to remember their answers observing under lined words or sentences.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in schools.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
instead
of using
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, computers or films.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at anytime whereas, studies on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
are broadcast at a certain time. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is difficult to learn or teach from a long film.
For instance
, as a teacher I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
teach about foods. If I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a film, to teach foods vocabulary, it will take long time. Another example, our authority provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to the learners in lieu of computers as this machine is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and
Did you mean "then"?
than
another elements.

To conclude
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that schools should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
definitely and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, film or computer if possible for the learners' convenience.
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IELTS essay letts writing task-2 Schools should stop using books for teaching and instrad use bilms, TV and computers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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