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Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree and disagree?

Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree and disagree? 5VwB
There is a growing sentiment that despite the increasing popularity of the amusement and recreation industry, people seem to become less creative and more disinterested in entertaining themselves. I am completely not convinced by this feeling; in fact, technological advancements open up a plethora of opportunities for entertainment that allow people to take their creativity to the next level. First, technological progression diversifies the ways that people can entertain themselves. Twenty years ago, most people had to visit brick-and-mortar stores to buy or rent their favourite mixtapes and handle these mixtapes with extra care to keep them from getting mouldy or tangled up. Today, people can enjoy any music content with online music subscription services, such as Spotify or Apple Music, on any portable device without the fear of their favourite tunes will vanish sometime in the future. Hence, it is evident that in fact, technology enables people to engage more in-depth in entertaining themselves more than they could before. Second, technological progression, in reality, opens up more opportunities that can let people’s creativity take wing. One noteworthy example of how technology has enriched people’s creativity is Apple Pencil, the digital pen that allows people to draw on touch-screen devices like Apple iPad. Thanks to Apple Pencil, today, artists can draw their artworks at their convenience without preparing brushes and paper or setting up easels. These artworks can be used either for recreation or even professional purposes, such as to create finely hand-crafted details that artists cannot do with the computer mouse, for their designs. This mentioned example proves that technology has indeed allowed people to dive deeper into their creativity and develop it even further. In conclusion, technological development has reaped multiple benefits to how people relax, entertain, and stimulate their creative ability. With the ongoing advancement of technology, people have a reason to believe that their mental well-being will be further enhanced, allowing them to lead fuller, more meaningful lives.
There is a growing sentiment that despite the increasing popularity of the amusement and recreation industry,
people
seem to become less creative and more disinterested in entertaining themselves. I am completely not convinced by this feeling; in fact,
technological
advancements open up a plethora of opportunities for entertainment that
allow
people
to take their creativity to the
next
level.

First
,
technological
progression diversifies the ways that
people
can entertain themselves. Twenty years ago, most
people
had to visit brick-and-mortar stores to
buy
or rent their
favourite
mixtapes
and handle these
mixtapes
with extra care to
keep
them from getting
mouldy
or tangled up.
Today
,
people
can enjoy any music content with online music subscription services, such as Spotify or
Apple
Music, on any portable device without the fear of their
favourite
tunes will vanish sometime in the future.
Hence
, it is evident that in fact,
technology
enables
people
to engage more in-depth in entertaining themselves more than they could
before
.

Second,
technological
progression, in reality, opens up more opportunities that can
let
people’s
creativity take wing. One noteworthy example of how
technology
has enriched
people’s
creativity is
Apple
Pencil, the digital pen that
allows
people
to draw on touch-screen devices like
Apple
iPad. Thanks to
Apple
Pencil,
today
, artists can draw their artworks at their convenience without preparing brushes and paper or setting up easels. These artworks can be
used
either for recreation or even professional purposes, such as to create
finely
hand-crafted
details
that artists cannot do with the computer mouse, for their designs. This mentioned example proves that
technology
has
indeed
allowed
people
to dive deeper into their creativity and develop it even
further
.

In conclusion
,
technological
development has reaped multiple benefits to how
people
relax, entertain, and stimulate their creative ability. With the ongoing advancement of
technology
,
people
have a reason to believe that their mental well-being will be
further
enhanced, allowing them to lead fuller, more meaningful
lives
.
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IELTS essay Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree and disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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