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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Dg7k
Certain people think that after the age of retirement one should not carry on their work. I agree with this statement. In this essay I will elaborate why do I think older people cannot carry forward their work. To begin with, youngsters should get more opportunities to work as they are the future. If young generation get a chance to work at an early will become professional soon. Moreover, they are updated with technology they know about to operate electronics correctly. Whereas older people are not familiar with computer they could not work effectively in digitalisation world. For instance, nowadays all the office work is done digitally where 23year old can do more quickly that 65year old who is aware of the technology and can take time to do. Furthermore, as you grow older body is not physically active. There are many health related issue arises after certain age. A young person can work through out the day without getting exhausted and can also work overtime but it is not possible with old age as they do not have stamina. For example, there was a report in Italy as you grow older your speed decreases and maximum productivity become less. In conclusion, one cannot carry on the work after certain age. youngsters should get a break as senior citizen would not be possible to work better.
Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of retirement one should not carry on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In this essay I will elaborate why do I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot carry forward their work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youngsters should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they are the future.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at an early will become professional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Moreover
, they
are updated
with technology they know about to operate electronics
correctly
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not familiar with computer they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalisation' is British English.
digitalisation
world.
For instance
, nowadays all the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is done
digitally
where 23year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
can do more
quickly
that 65year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
who is aware of the technology and can take time to do.

Furthermore
, as you grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
body is not
physically
active. There are
Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much health", "a good deal of health".
many health
related issue arises after certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. A young person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the day without getting exhausted and can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not possible with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as they do not have stamina.
For example
, there was a report in Italy as you grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
your speed decreases and maximum productivity become less.

In conclusion
, one cannot carry on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
youngsters
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a break as senior citizen would not be possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better.
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IELTS essay Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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