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Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

Climate change has been the main concern for many people around the world. Some believe that this issues should be addressd and tackled before becoming more worse. However, others feel that nations should search for solution to adpat with it. I completely agree with the former opinion for the reasons which will be explained further in the following lines. The rapid changes in the weather have caused detrimental effects on the environment and species; floods, forsts fires and herricane have been occured in every where across the world which has led to the extinction of many animals and the destroy of their habitaties. According to a study conducted in Cairo university, the recent fires in the USA have led to the destory of many tress and the death of many animals. This is why a number of presporus scientists, who work in Nasa, are trying now to find solutions to eradicate this issue. In addition this, weather change has been the main factor in most of the harmful environmental problems such as drought and desrtification which led to shortage of crops and water supplies. This has forced many individuals to move from their towns to others. This might causes major social problem such as crimes and polution. It is fact that one issue can led to the other if it is not identified and mitagted effeciently. In conclusion, Climate change is a serious problem for the all nations that has to be managed effectively. In my opinion, there are several measures that can be taken to tackle it
Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has been the main concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘issues’. Did you mean “these”?
this
issues should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
addressd
and tackled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
becoming more worse.
However
, others feel that nations should search for solution to
Possible spelling mistake found.
adpat
with it. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion for the reasons which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
in the following lines.

The rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the weather have caused detrimental effects on the environment and species; floods,
Possible spelling mistake found.
forsts
fires and
Possible spelling mistake found.
herricane
have been
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “occurred”, the past tense form of the verb ‘occur’?
occured
in
Did you mean “everywhere”?
every where
across the world which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
led
to the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
habitaties
. According to a study conducted in Cairo university, the recent fires in the USA have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
led
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
destory
of
Possible agreement error. The noun tress seems to be countable; consider using: “many tresses”.
many tress
and the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
animals. This is why a number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
presporus
scientists, who work in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nasa
, are trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to find solutions to eradicate this issue.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
this, weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has been the main factor in most of the harmful environmental problems such as drought and
Possible spelling mistake found.
desrtification
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
led
to shortage of crops and water supplies. This has forced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from their towns to others. This might
The modal verb ‘might’ requires the verb’s base form.
causes
major social problem such as crimes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
polution
. It is fact that one issue can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
led
to the other if it is not identified and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mitagted
Possible spelling mistake found.
effeciently
.

In conclusion
, Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is a serious problem for the all nations that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be managed
effectively
. In my opinion, there are several measures that can
be taken
to tackle
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
it
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IELTS essay Leaders and directors in an organisation are normally older people. Some people think younger leader would be better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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