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Law of pay pension after retirement is good or not

Law of pay pension after retirement is good or not 7J1X5
Workers in any field have different demands about retirement and pension plans. Many governments tend to use different methodologies to decide whether there should be an arbitrary age regards to retirement or not. In my opinion, having a fixed age to retire is the best way to avoid any confusions and injustice. Yes, some jobs are more exhausting and demand an early pension and retirement. But that can be made as an exception to the law and the workers can apply for it, if they qualify, they can get the benefit. The reason why early retirement and pension is a problem in some sectors because, people keep on changing their jobs and are flexing wherever they find more opportunities. This makes room for injustice for some people. When, a particular job is more stressful and requires an early retirement people try to take benefit even when they kept changing jobs in a few years makes it real hard to make a distinction between deserving and non deserving. Three types of workers should get benefit from an early retirement and pension. Jobs that are categorised as physically challenging like coal miners, welders. High stress jobs like military intelligence and fighter plane pilots. I watched a documentary about how fighter plane pilots retire earlier than normal pilots. The reason why I agree to this to be an exception because even if they both are flying planes of different kinds but, the level of challenges and stress for a fighter plane pilot is far more than a normal pilot. With that being said, it is really difficult to classify all categories of jobs in different groups and making different laws. So, it is better to have a standard retiring age and then making exceptions for people who qualify under the exceptions.
Workers in any field have
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different
demands about
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retirement
and
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pension
plans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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different
methodologies to decide whether there should be an arbitrary age regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
or not. In my opinion, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
age to retire is the best way to avoid any confusions and injustice. Yes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more exhausting and demand an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that can
be made
as an
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exception
to the law and the workers can apply for it, if they qualify, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefit.

The reason why
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early
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retirement
and
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pension
is a problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and are flexing wherever they find more opportunities. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
room for injustice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When, a particular
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job
is more stressful and requires an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to take benefit even when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
changing
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jobs
in a few years
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makes
it real
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hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a distinction between deserving and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non deserving
.

Three types of workers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
.
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Jobs
that are
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
as
physically
challenging like coal miners, welders. High
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
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jobs
like military intelligence and fighter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
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pilots
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a documentary about how fighter
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plane
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pilots
retire earlier than normal
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pilots
. The reason why I
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agree
to this to be an
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exception
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even if they both are flying
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planes
of
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different
kinds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the level of challenges and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for a fighter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
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pilot
is far more than a normal pilot.

With that
being said
, it is
really
difficult to classify all categories of
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jobs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
groups and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
laws.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is better to have a standard retiring age and then making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exceptions
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who qualify under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exceptions
.
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IELTS essay Law of pay pension after retirement is good or not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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