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Large public places such as parks and squares are essential in both citites and towns Do you agree or disagree?

Large public places such as parks and squares are essential in both citites and towns BW18w
There is no denying the fact that a number of people want to go to national places these days. large public places including gardens and squares are crucial in both metropolises and towns. I strongly agree with this idea and believe that parks and squares are important for both cities and townships, as this will provide more benefits in the distant future. One of the key reason behind my agreement is that public places are very important for society because it helps individuals to spend quality time with family and friends. To elaborate further, this will not only assist people to keep fit and healthy but also preserve their lives from diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular and heart diseases. For instance, the survey conducted in 2009 by the government in Germany reveals that around 76% of people did work out to maintain their health and look younger. Thus, the availability of large public amenities in particular gardens and squares in cities and villages will definitely improve the lives of mankind. Secondly, pollution is increasing all over the world, so that then parks play a vital role in the development of society. To elucidate, this will not only improve the quality of air but also provide people with a good atmosphere. Moreover, also motivate people to protect nature and take more and more part in outdoor activities. For example, In the UK a number of people grow more plants to protect the gardens for people till now than before. Therefore, Huge public places including parks and squares will be more beneficial in the following years. To conclude, Public places are very significant for everyone because this will enhance the quality of human life in all aspects without causing any harm to the environment
There is no denying the fact that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to go to national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
these days.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
including gardens and squares are crucial in both metropolises and towns. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that parks and squares are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both cities and townships, as this will provide more benefits in the distant future.

One of the key reason behind my agreement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individuals to spend quality time with family and friends. To elaborate
further
, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
preserve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular and heart diseases.
For instance
, the survey conducted in 2009 by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in Germany reveals that around 76% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did work out to maintain their health and look younger.
Thus
, the availability of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
amenities
in particular
gardens and squares in cities and villages will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of mankind.

Secondly
, pollution is increasing all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that then parks play a vital role in the development of society. To elucidate, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
atmosphere.
Moreover
,
also
motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to protect nature and take more and more part in outdoor activities.
For example
, In the UK a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
grow more plants to protect the gardens for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Therefore
, Huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
including parks and squares will be more beneficial in the following years.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will enhance the quality of human life in all aspects without causing any harm to the environment
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IELTS essay Large public places such as parks and squares are essential in both citites and towns

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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