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Lack of Sport in school nowadays

Lack of Sport in school nowadays Mmxj9

In my opinion, there is a lack of sports in school’s curriculum nowadays, especially in Vietnam. One clear evidence is the modest physiques of our citizens compared to that of other countries in the world. In spite of recent changes, the effect of teaching sports in schools is not so noticeable due to low facilities condition and also time pressure for other academic subjects like Math or Literature.

In my opinion, there is a lack of sports in school’s curriculum nowadays, especially
 in Vietnam. One This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 evidence is the modest physiques of our citizens compared to that of other countries in the world. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:notwithstanding
In spite of
 recent This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :altersadjusts
changes
, the effect of teaching sports in schools is not This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 noticeable due to low facilities condition and also
 time pressure for other academic subjects like Math or Literature. 

IELTS essay Lack of Sport in school nowadays

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

68 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Lack of Sport in school nowadays