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Killing animals and using their flesh for food is not right. Do you agree or disagree?

Killing animals and using their flesh for food is not right. lWqED
With a belief that meat is tastier and healthier than plants, numbers of animals used are killed and their parts are used for human’s consumption. I do not agree with unnecessary killing of animals. Some people believe that meat is a vital part of food. However, they are highly misunderstood. Firstly, animals are living creatures and they have legal right to live just as human beings. The only difference is non-verbal creatures are not able to speak; therefore, it is cruel to kill them for human's greed and requirements. For example, dogs and cats are human's friends since ancient times. These species can love, cry, and care the same way as mankind. If we will continue to beat and butcher them then we may lose our animal carl-takers. Secondly, myriad of animals are used in various felids such as agriculture and riding. To illustrate, cows, and ox have been go to farm for generations, so, harming these working animals may lead to losing our helping hands. Hence, slaughter of animals innocent species, just for food is morally wrong and not respectable. In addition, human body can function well without meat and meat free diet. To illustrate, a research shows that vegans live a normal and healthier lifestyle compare to one's who eat meat. Many peas and dry fruits provide all required nutrients for healthy longer life. Furthermore, while eating other animals there are high risk of getting contaminated with numerous bacterial and viruses. Corona-virus transformation from bat is the predominant proof that the whole world has experienced recently. Thus, hunting animals and using them for diet is unhealthy and risky. To summarize, I oppose am firmly in oppose to poach animals and use their fleshes as food. Non-vegetarian people should start lowering meat intake first and later they should switch to the vegetables.
With a belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is tastier and healthier than plants, numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
are killed
and their parts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for human’s consumption. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with unnecessary killing of animals.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is a vital part of food.
However
, they are
highly
misunderstood.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are living
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creatures and
they have legal right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as human beings. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
difference is non-verbal creatures are not able to speak;
therefore
, it is cruel to kill them for human's greed and requirements.
For example
, dogs and cats are
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human friends"?
human's friends
since ancient times. These species can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, cry, and care the same way as mankind. If we
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will continue
to beat and butcher them then we may lose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
Possible spelling mistake found.
carl-takers
.
Secondly
, myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in various
Possible spelling mistake found.
felids
such as agriculture and riding. To illustrate, cows, and ox have been
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
to farm for generations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, harming these working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
may lead to losing our helping hands.
Hence
, slaughter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
innocent species,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for food is
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and not respectable.

In addition
, human body can function well without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
free diet. To illustrate,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that vegans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a normal and healthier lifestyle compare to one's who eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
peas and dry fruits provide all required nutrients for healthy longer life.
Furthermore
, while eating other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
there are high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of getting contaminated with numerous bacterial and viruses.
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona-virus
transformation from bat is the predominant proof that the whole world has experienced recently.
Thus
, hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and using them for diet is unhealthy and risky.

To summarize
, I oppose am
firmly
in oppose to poach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their fleshes as food. Non-vegetarian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
lowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
intake
first
and later they should switch to the vegetables.
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IELTS essay Killing animals and using their flesh for food is not right.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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