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Sports developed the personality and the country which reduces international stress do you agree or disagree

Sports developed the personality and the country which reduces international stress r1bwJ
Games developed the personality and area which decreases the international stress. Sports on very important in our life as it may cause fit and healthy and give a long living life. I agree about this due to the fact that if we do exercise and play sports consequently, it benefits for our body as we can't gain obesity. It increase muscle power and also our looks and if we play more games it increase our confidence clever and reduces their stress and give motivation towards venmo sports game. On the other hand, I disagree on to the fact that, if we play sports games sometime it give pain and disabled person can't play sports perfectly and body problems also occur. As we know all human beings are not heart working so, this sports take a lot of time management and hard work full stopped due to this it increase the stress also as there are many competitors and if someone lost the game then pupils will don't them. And to became a sportsperson money is also required for coaching for international levels. Basically, sports have merits and demerits. To fit ourselves we have to play some sports in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
developed the personality and area which decreases the international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life as it may cause fit and healthy and give a long living life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
about this due to the fact that if we do exercise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
consequently
, it benefits for our body as we can't gain obesity. It
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
muscle power and
also
our looks and if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
it increase our confidence clever and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and give motivation towards
Possible spelling mistake found.
venmo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game.
On the other hand
, I disagree on to the fact that, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
sometime it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
pain and disabled person can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
perfectly
and body problems
also
occur. As we know all human beings are not heart working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time management and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
due to this it
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
also
as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
competitors and if someone lost the game then pupils will don't them. And
Did you mean "to become"?
to became
a sportsperson money is
also
required for coaching for international levels.
Basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have merits and demerits. To fit ourselves we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in our life.
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IELTS essay Sports developed the personality and the country which reduces international stress

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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