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keep believe in God, he has our heavenly father

keep believe in God, he has our heavenly father keM7W
We always say we are God’s children but we don’t want Him to correct us when wrong or to teach us a valuable lesson. When growing up, the times we did something that did not please our parents they always gave us time out or they disciplined us because they loved us and wouldn’t want us to go astray while they looked. Why should it be different with God when He is our Heavenly father? The Bible refers to Him as our loving father and He wants what’s best for us. Why do we only want good from Him but shun the corrections that He does for our character and well-being? Why do we want Him to turn a blind eye to things that displease him? People always like to quote the piece in the Bible about how our earthly parents always grant us with everything we want. What more would our Heavenly father do? We are open to our parents rebuking us and correcting us but don’t like it when God tries to get rid of some of our characters that He does not like. We become defensive to Him and start building our walls, making it hard to penetrate our hearts and soul. When we pray, we need to ask for grace for us to not only be able to handle the blessings but also the challenges that are to come our way for us to emerge victorious. We know that our parents discipline us or try to warn us about something that they feel will lead us astray and when we don’t want to listen and become thickheaded, they let us do what we thought was good for us only later on we realize that we were wrong and they were right and they know what’s best for us. Why not incorporate that with the relationship with God. What do we expect from our Heavenly Father, who knew our destiny before we were conceived, who knows the outcome before it materializes? That we have full trust and faith in Him that everything works for the glory of Him, that He is the mastermind of our lives and He is the one in control. Why do we only want the good from Him but not the whole deal where He can correct us when we are wrong and where He may lead us through rough patches and challenges only for us to learn a valuable lesson. As He is able to take away the storms, at times, He may allow us to go through the storms to come out much stronger and build our faith in Him. We need to see challenges and trials as a way God is preparing us for greater things that are to come. We were told that we will emerge victorious but how will we be able to do so without going through the tribulations. God is a loving father and He would not want us to go through the trials unless the outcome will bring forth something greater and He knows what’s best for us even without us asking. We need to put our trust in Him that He will see us through it all. Everything that we go through is a preparation for our destiny. We need to have trust in God’s process and that His grace will see us through every trial thrown our way.
We always say we are God’s children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
Him to correct us when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or to teach us a valuable lesson. When growing up, the times we did something that did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they always gave us time
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
out or
they disciplined us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
us and wouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
us to go astray while they looked.

Why should it be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with God when He is our Heavenly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
? The Bible refers to Him as our loving
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
father and
He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
what’s best for us. Why do we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
from Him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
shun the corrections that He does for our character and well-being? Why do we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
Him to turn a blind eye to things that displease him?

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always like to quote the piece in the Bible about how our
earthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always grant us with everything we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
. What more would our Heavenly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
do? We are open to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rebuking us and correcting us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don’t like it when God tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our characters that He does not like. We become defensive to Him and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building our walls, making it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to penetrate our hearts and soul.

When we pray, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
grace for us to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be able to handle the blessings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the challenges that are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
our way for us to emerge victorious. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
discipline us or try to warn us about something that they feel will lead us astray and when we don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to listen and become thickheaded, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us do what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
later on we realize that we were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wrong and
they were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
right and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what’s best for us. Why not incorporate that with the relationship with God.

What do we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
from our Heavenly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Father
, who knew our destiny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
were conceived
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
the outcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it materializes? That we have full trust and faith in Him that everything works for the glory of Him, that He is the mastermind of our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
He is the one in control.

Why do we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
from Him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the whole deal where He can correct us when we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and where He may lead us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
rough patches and challenges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for us to learn a valuable lesson. As He is able to take away the storms, at times, He may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the storms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out much stronger and build our faith in Him.

We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
challenges and trials as a way God is preparing us for greater things that are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. We were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that we will emerge victorious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how will we be able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the tribulations. God is a loving
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
father and
He would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
us to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the trials unless the outcome will bring forth something
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
greater and
He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
what’s best for us even without us asking. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to put our trust in Him that He will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
it all.

Everything that we go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
is a preparation for our destiny. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have trust in God’s process and that His grace will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
every trial thrown our way.
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IELTS essay keep believe in God, he has our heavenly father

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
565 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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