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Juvenile delinquency is increasingly common. Do you agree or disagree?

Juvenile delinquency is increasingly common. OVyDp
Every day, there are thousands of children incarcerated in youth prisons, meanwhile thousands more are also locked up in adult prisons and jails. Sadly, this figure of youth crime tends to grow bigger and bigger day by day. Therefore, I could not deny that juvenile delinquency is such an alarming negative fact that influences directly on the whole society, especially teenagers’ personalities. The most common reason could be explained this serious reality is that the divorce and domestic violence rates have always been sticking to the juvenile delinquency one. It means that under those discordant roofs, kids are simply fed instead of receiving some careful attention or even any educations methodically from adults; more seriously, they are victims of child abuse, which may stuffs into children’s thought with evil behaviours as their relatives have done. They could be obsessed with cruel actions and always think that any problems in some cases must be solved by violence only! In addition, poverty, especially in developing countries, is really an objective factor in growing the proportion of juvenile delinquency. Having lived in slums and regularly faced with years of bad harvests, children are forced to be pickpockets, kidnappers as well as robbers unwillingly because without being a crime, they may die of starvation. However, even when overcoming difficulties, the juveniles consider thieving as a lifelong job instead of searching for a legal occupation. In conclusion, youth crime is an urgently dangerous problem which needs an immediate action from regional governments. From my point of view, adults play a crucial role in controlling this situation by not only reducing domestic violence at least as possible but also leading children to a human and moral life.
Every day, there are thousands of
children
incarcerated in youth prisons, meanwhile thousands more are
also
locked up in adult prisons and jails.
Sadly
, this figure of youth crime tends to grow bigger and bigger day by day.
Therefore
, I could not deny that
juvenile
delinquency is such an alarming
negative
fact that influences
directly
on the whole
society,
especially
teenagers
’ personalities.

The most common reason could be
explained
this serious reality is that the divorce and domestic violence rates have always been sticking to the
juvenile
delinquency one. It means that under those discordant roofs, kids are
simply
fed
instead
of receiving
some
careful attention or even any educations
methodically
from adults; more
seriously
, they are victims of child abuse, which may stuffs into
children’s
thought
with evil
behaviours
as their relatives have done. They could
be obsessed
with cruel actions and always
think
that any problems in
some
cases
must
be solved
by violence
only
!

In addition
, poverty,
especially
in
developing countries
, is
really
an objective factor in growing the proportion of
juvenile
delinquency. Having
lived
in slums and
regularly
faced with years of
bad
harvests,
children
are forced
to be pickpockets, kidnappers
as well
as robbers
unwillingly
because
without being a crime, they may
die
of starvation.
However
, even when overcoming difficulties, the
juveniles
consider thieving as a lifelong job
instead
of searching for a legal occupation.

In conclusion
, youth crime is an
urgently
dangerous
problem which needs an immediate action from regional
governments
. From my point of view, adults play a crucial role in controlling this situation by not
only
reducing domestic violence at least as possible
but
also
leading
children
to a human and moral life.
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IELTS essay Juvenile delinquency is increasingly common.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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