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junior citizens’ weigh gain has been an indisputable issue all around the world

junior citizens’ weigh gain has been an indisputable issue all around the world dqOnK
It is an inevitable fact that health plays a crucial role in the development of children. Notwithstanding, in this day and age, junior citizens’ weigh gain has been an indisputable issue all around the world. There are heaps of causes and associated effects of this matter, this essay will address both of those factors along with a number of methods to tackle them. First and foremost, there are a myriad of motivations for youngsters' obesity, one of them being the exponential increase of fast-food restaurants. In additional, living within a society such a rushing society, parents tend to offer their offspring with pre-made meals since they are a quick and easy choice. Having said that, fast-food are produced with non-nutritional ingredients and contain a numerous amount of cholesterol, calories, saturated fat which create an unbalanced diet. Secondly, the advanced technology is also a feasible reason for children overweighting. If kids spend more time staring at screens, they will dedicate less in physical activities. With the aforementioned elements, it can be seen that kids nowadays consume more energy, exercise less which leads to obesity and its consequences. Physically, there can be several diseases arise from the overweight condition. For instance, joints and bones problems or even heart stroke, hyperlipidemia as a result of the rising fat level. Mentally, according to health experts the lack of body movements is a motivation for mind degradation and depression. In order to deal with the problems caused by unhealthy weigh gain at an early age, there are a number of viable solutions. For families, they should strictly supervise their young members’ diet and offer them with a vary of nutritional food. For example, reduce spices and include more fresh ingredients. For institutions, it will be tremendous if they schedule more outdoor, physical activities for students. Take Japan as an illustration, beside the annual sport festival and learning trips, Japanese students have the opportunity to do gardening works and use those vegetables they grow in their lunches which are served at school. In conclusion, overwhelmingly gaining weight at a young age result in a myriad of consequences. Therefore, adults are responsible of imposing methods to prevent or cure it so that youngsters are able to develop healthily.
It is an inevitable fact that health plays a crucial role in the development of children. Notwithstanding, in this day and age, junior citizens’ weigh gain has been an indisputable issue all around the world. There are heaps of causes and associated effects of this matter, this essay will address both of those factors along with a number of methods to tackle them.

First
and foremost, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of motivations for youngsters' obesity, one of them being the exponential increase of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants. In additional, living within a society such a rushing society, parents tend to offer their offspring with
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-made
meals since they are a quick and easy choice. Having said that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
are produced
with non-nutritional ingredients and contain a numerous amount of cholesterol, calories, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
which create an unbalanced diet.
Secondly
, the advanced technology is
also
a feasible reason for children
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighting
. If kids spend more time staring at screens, they will dedicate less in physical activities.

With the aforementioned elements, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that kids nowadays consume more energy, exercise less which leads to obesity and its consequences.
Physically
, there can be several diseases arise from the overweight condition.
For instance
, joints and bones problems or even heart stroke, hyperlipidemia
as a result
of the rising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
level. Mentally, according to health experts the lack of body movements is a motivation for mind degradation and depression.

In order to deal with the problems caused by unhealthy weigh gain at an early age, there are a number of viable solutions. For families, they should
strictly
supervise their young members’ diet and offer them with
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'vary' is correct. If 'vary' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a vary
of nutritional food.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
spices and include more fresh ingredients.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
For
institutions, it will be tremendous if they schedule more outdoor, physical activities for students. Take Japan as an illustration, beside the annual sport festival and learning trips, Japanese students have the opportunity to do gardening works and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those vegetables they grow in their lunches which
are served
at school.

In conclusion
,
overwhelmingly
gaining weight at a young age result in a myriad of consequences.
Therefore
, adults are
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
imposing methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
or cure it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that youngsters are able to develop
healthily
.
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IELTS essay junior citizens’ weigh gain has been an indisputable issue all around the world

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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