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Job satisfaction is more important than making a lot of money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Job satisfaction is more important than making a lot of money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 7apW2
Nowadays, money plays a crucial role in our life. Money can “open up a lot of doors” such as a better living standard, opportunity in attending good and private schools and it also enable us to acquire high end brand products as well. However, from my point of view, job satisfaction is even more important because it enables people to really enjoy what they are tailored to do and have a more fulfilled career. To begin with, normally high salary saves people from their financial stress. However, high wages also come along with demanding job and stressful work environment. Therefore, in th. . .
Nowadays, money plays a crucial role in our life. Money can “open up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
doors” such as a better living standard, opportunity in attending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and private schools and it
also
Did you mean "enables"?
enable
us to acquire high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
brand products
as well
.
However
, from my point of view, job satisfaction is even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enables
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
really
enjoy what they
are tailored
to do and have a more fulfilled career.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
normally
high salary saves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from their financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
However
, high wages
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with demanding job and stressful work environment.
Therefore
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS essay Job satisfaction is more important than making a lot of money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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