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It’s often believed that money doesn’t bring you happiness. Please explain your opinion based on your knowledge and experience.

It’s often believed that money doesn’t bring you happiness. Please explain your opinion based on your knowledge and experience. Lr8Or
It’s thought that having a lot of money is not equal to being happy in life. In my opinion, money might cause some personal problems and become a serious hurdle on the way to happiness. One of the reasons why I think that money does not bring joy in a person’s life is that it usually causes a lack of free time. In other words, in general, wealthy people do not have enough time for developing their hobbies, spending quality time with their families and friends, and relaxing after the tough day. Thus, they do not have a feeling that they are completely happy because of the missing little things which help us to realise the true meaning of life and enjoy every single moment in our existence. Another point to consider that money does not satisfy an owner is that a constant desire to double the existing amount of money. This fact often leads to depression and different problems with the family members. For example, there are many cases reported in the magazines where famous people’s divorces are described, and I think that one of the crucial reasons for this is the focusing on money making instead of improving family’s bounds. Furthermore, it might lead to more severe consequences such as madness and even suicide. In conclusion, despite the fact that money is important in our life we can see that rich people struggle with the absence of spending time for their pleasure and also have some private problems.
It’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not equal to being happy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
might cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal problems and become a serious hurdle on the way to happiness.

One of the reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not bring joy in a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is that it
usually
causes a lack of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In other words
,
in general
, wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for developing their hobbies, spending quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their families and friends, and relaxing after the tough day.
Thus
, they do not have a feeling that they are completely happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the missing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the true meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and enjoy every single moment in our existence.

Another point to consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not satisfy an owner is that a constant desire to double the existing amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to depression and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems with the family members.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases reported in the magazines where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s divorces are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one of the crucial reasons for this is the focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
making
instead
of improving family’s bounds.
Furthermore
, it might lead to more severe consequences such as madness and even suicide.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggle with the absence of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their pleasure and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private problems.
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IELTS essay It’s often believed that money doesn’t bring you happiness. Please explain your opinion based on your knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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