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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both ideas by giving your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. YQrd
It is undeniable fact that practice makes a man perfect. It is a notion that talents are god gifted to many individuals from their birth. However, a number of people assert that anyone can perform better if they pay proper attention for practice and training. I completely support this statement and I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are a plethora of contributing factors that support my view. First and foremost, practice is extremely crucial in every field. There are a plenty of cases where an individual got their talent owing to their devotion and determination. For instance, a veteran cricketer MS Dhoni did not have any sports skill in his childhood as his father was not a cricketer. He worked hard and practice daily to learn the cricket. Blind from the age of seven, Charles became one of the famous pianists of his generation just because of his will power, determination and practice. In addition to this, proper training and guidance at various phases of life assist in developing the talent. With On the other hand, a number of folks think that some peoples are god gifted. It might be true somewhere. For example, a famous singer Mohammad Rafi was a god gifted personality as he did not take any professional training for the music and he was the legend of music industry. Such people take less time for training and become master in their field in a shorter span than others. Moreover, they have keen interest in their area and sometimes they performed better than others. To recapitulate, I would like to reiterate that although many individuals born with some talent that assist them to grow easily yet every person can become perfect by practice.
It is undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
perfect. It is a notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are god gifted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals from their birth.
However
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that anyone can perform better if they pay proper attention for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. I completely support this statement and I will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are a plethora of contributing factors that support my view.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
is
extremely
crucial in every field.

There are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of cases where an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
owing to their devotion and determination.
For instance
, a veteran cricketer MS
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
did not have any sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in his childhood as his father was not a cricketer. He worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
daily to learn the cricket. Blind from the age of seven, Charles became one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
pianists of his generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his will power, determination and practice.

In addition
to this, proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and guidance at various phases of life assist in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. With

On the other hand
, a number of folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peoples are god gifted. It might be true somewhere.
For example
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer Mohammad
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rafi
was a god gifted personality as he did not take any professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
he was the legend of music industry. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take less time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and become master in their field in a shorter span than others.
Moreover
, they have keen interest in their area and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they performed better than others.

To recapitulate, I would like to reiterate that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals born with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
that assist them to grow
easily
yet
every person can become perfect by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
.
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IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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