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its better to accept bad situations while others argue its better to try and improve

its better to accept bad situations while others argue its better to try and improve MqawQ
Being in a bad situation or in a rough spot in life is unfortunately not always ours to decide but some people accept this situation as their fate and give up any hope to improve, while other never lose hope and try to improve their situation in any way possible. In my opinion, trying to fix one’s problem is the best option among the two. To begin, being in a bad situation, for instance, having shortage of money, not having the desired job, not achieving the desired goals make people sad and depressed. They tend to accept this as their fate or blame it on other factors of their life. They never even try to improve or fix their problems. To a certain extent it is understandable, as some factors are out of their controls, but giving up on situations which can be fixed, even before trying, in my opinion is not acceptable. On the contrary what I believe is, one can fix any rough spots in their life, if they have proper mind-set and determination to do so. The first steps to do this is, trying to analyse the factors that contribute to the bad situations and trying to eliminate them. Improving the situations although difficult to start is often sets the right path for a person to walk. Many great personalities had to face tough times before they were able to achieve their desired goals. As it has been said “strong metal are forged in flames and fire”. To conclude, even though many people try not to improve their rough situation and stay miserable throughout their life. I feel that trying to improve the situation and making one’s life better is always the better path then the former choice, and I hope many people adopt ideology.
Being in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
or in a rough spot in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is unfortunately not always ours to decide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accept this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
as their fate and give up any hope to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
, while other never lose hope and try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in any way possible. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
one’s problem is the best option among the two.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, being in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
for instance
, having shortage of money, not having the desired job, not achieving the desired goals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sad and depressed. They tend to accept this as their fate or blame it on other factors of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They never even try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
their problems. To a certain extent it is understandable, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors are out of their controls,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving up on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
, in my opinion is not acceptable.

On the contrary
what I believe is, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
any rough spots in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, if they have proper mind-set and determination to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. The
first
The usual collocation for "steps" is "take". Did you mean "steps to take"?
steps to do
this is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the factors that contribute to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to eliminate them. Improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
although difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sets the right path for a person to walk.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
great personalities had to face tough times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they were able to achieve their desired goals. As it has
been said
“strong metal
are forged
in flames and fire”.

To conclude
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their rough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and stay miserable throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trying
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and making one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better is always the better path then the former choice, and I hope
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adopt ideology.
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IELTS essay its better to accept bad situations while others argue its better to try and improve

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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